


Beginner’s Luck

by SuperSecretAgentQrow



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Comedy, Drunk Engagement, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Strangers to Fiancés to Enemies to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-03-15 21:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13621809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperSecretAgentQrow/pseuds/SuperSecretAgentQrow
Summary: Winter and Qrow meet by chance in Las Vegas and from there becomeengagedin a battle of wits, grit, and maybe a little romance.





	1. SOS!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Pain & Misery](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13611405) by [Shipperoftrashyships](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shipperoftrashyships/pseuds/Shipperoftrashyships). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Would you rather I tell you I needed a plus one?”

Bright lights. Bigger city. Qrow hated it all.  
  
Itching from a flight on the shadiest airline he’d never heard of, the stubble-growing thirty year-old had half a mind to kill his sister. Raven had called him only half a week ago to drag her dear sibling across the country, under the pretense of a “work emergency,” only to give him a vague address and leave him to track her down. Now here he was, cursing the waning battery on his phone with no "Grand Grimm Casino" in sight.  
  
Stepping through a ladder Qrow threw his gaze left and right, growing increasingly agitated by the Vegas chaos that swam around him like a hundred hungry motorized sharks. Just this morning he had been repairing his pickup’s engine in the quiet Florida town of Patch, and between the rapturous bass of the rave to his right, the neon-pink skate park advertisement, the buildings with rooftops higher than he could lean back to see...  
  
Qrow shook his head, running his fingers over the cool steel and crystal deep in his pocket. This was his chance at avoiding another one of those fancy dinner parties Raven so often got caught in these days, and he should savor the excuse of getting lost while it lasted. Dropping back into a heavy slouch, he picked a direction at random and -  
  
A pale hand wrapped around his collar pulling so hard he choked on his own spit. Whirling around with a fist, Qrow was ready to make his first fond memory of Nevada till he recognized eyes the same blood-red color he sported glaring at him.  
  
“Little brother,” Raven Branwen spat, “has living in that dump of a shed really deprived you of any sense of direction? I booked you a hotel that literally faces the damn casino!”  
  
Qrow opened his mouth to fire back a retort but realized he had immediately turned out of his hotel, barely throwing a glance at the giant skull that had been staring at him through his window all evening. Blowing a tuft of hair out of his eyes he walked past his sister with an exaggerated sigh. “Don’t blame me for mixing up one electric sign for another,” Qrow drawled over his shoulder. “Besides, if I remember right you lived with me for two weeks in my rich-people defense shelter. My scruffy sofa would be offended.”  
  
Big sister swatted him, destroying his carefully crafted messy-as-possible hair. “If I called the hole you sleep in a house, the casino’s toilet would be a New York condo.” Raven walked up alongside him, brushing the dust off the suit she’d left for him and raking her fingers across his skull, to which he hissed defensively. “You have no idea how embarrassing this is. My partner is waiting for me with our new clients and I have to drag my grown brother from the strip club alley!” Qrow threw a glance back at the neon skatepark. “Yeah, they have a side gig too. No, don’t give me that look, I need you here tonight. You could learn a thing or two from them about diversifying,” she muttered, shooing a black cat out of their way.  
  
At this Qrow shrugged her off with a grumble. “My **side gig** is the whole reason I followed you out here! Why would you even need a bodyguard in the rich part of a rich town, sis? You’ve beat up bigger dudes than any prick I’ve seen around here!”  
  
Raven huffed as they approached the casino once more, the skull’s beady eyes seeming to follow them in. “You’re about to be thirty-one, Qrow. You might not have a reputation to keep up, but I’ve got mine and I CAN’T afford for you to screw this up. Besides,” she paused after handing the doorman her coat, “deep down I’m as uncomfortable here as you are. Having Vernal helps, but sometimes I wanna scream and break things almost as much as you do.”  
  
Baby brother snorted, trying to take off his sports coat until Raven tied his buttons back up. “Sure,” he muttered, “how about you tell me the real reason you brought me along?”  
  
Raven rolled her eyes. “Would you rather I tell you I needed a plus one, and my own deadbeat brother was the best option I had?”  
  
Raven strutted off with a cackle as Qrow gagged vocally in the middle of the entryway, silver double doors shutting behind them with a bang.

* * *

The party was about as interesting as Qrow imagined. Vernal, the one face he didn’t want to stick his tongue at, introduced him as Raven’s self-employed machine shop contractor of a sibling and part-time personal bully. _Seems a tiny bit pretentious when I just hammer at things and glare at people by default _, Qrow lamented. Then again, Qrow’s overpuffed career spiel probably paled to the footnotes of some of these guys’ resumes. Board member of the North America Hospital Oversight Committee? Lead designer for the first human biosynthetic limbs? One of the only nationally-certified lung transplant doctors in the state? At some point Qrow mused the CEO of AtlasMedical could be half machine and he wouldn’t even stand out.__  
  
James Ironwood, as it turned out, might definitely have been a goddamn **Terminator** under that steely white suit and steelier expression. It would explain the seriously unnerving, calculated and methodical movements he made whenever he made eye contact with someone. Raven, who by now had dragged her brother to meet the big boss himself, gushed about how unreal it would be to work alongside one of the global leaders in biomechanical engineering as a policy and legal consultant. And Jimmy just stared back at Qrow. Without even blinking.  
  
The crystal and metal in his pocket almost burned with hand friction.  
  
By the time Raven had turned to the president, who had seemingly been refitted with a human brain that was capable at laughing with her, Qrow had officially been weirded out. Excusing himself for some water, he apologized to the puzzled waiter whose tray and randomly upended itself and waited till he was out of eyeshot of most of the room, before taking a quick sip of his trusty jacket flash. Qrow had perfected the art of the ninja-like shot in college, betting the professors wouldn’t even notice until he was swaying out of his seat, back when he was just an unabashed smartass, before...  
  
His fingers found the cold metal again instinctively and he lazily pulled out his phone. **12%**. He’d done a lot more with a lot less before. Before he shoved it back into his suit, he saw a few notifications hiding in the corner and swiped down.  
  


_SOS!_ a text from Tai read. _We’ve been hiding from Dad for an hour and he’s threatened to unleash Zwei on us! Mom’s been promising cookies if we do our chores and Ruby seems reallllyy ready to give in!_  
  


_If you call him from the casino maybe that’d distract him :) ___  
  
_Crap Zwei smells Ruby’s chocolate! I think we’re done for!! Remember meeee ___  
  


Qrow chuckled. Yang was smarter than most adults gave her credit for. She had her mom’s craftiness, but was earnest like her dad too. And Ruby...Ruby shone light even on his darkest days. The infectious optimism could only come from one per-  
  
He frowned again, not even feeling enough emotion to keep it on his face long. Before he put the phone away he read another text.  
  


_Stay safe,_ it read. _Tai may not tell me much but I know what’s going on. Make sure to put on at least a few smiles before the night’s over! Say hi to her for us. Miss you._  


  
Qrow stared at the text for a moment as the world walked on by. Even the small piece of crystal he sought solace in felt more lifeless and dead. After what felt like hours or years Raven caught his arm again, albeit a bit more gently after reading his torn expression.  
  
In his hands Qrow suddenly found a stack of bills, with Raven trying to look sweet (thank god Yang had Ruby's mom for that). “The party’s gonna go on for another few hours. Go down and have fun with the actual casino. Who knows, maybe your luck will finally turn around tonight.”  
  
Qrow shot her a confused look before schooling it and stuffing the bills in his back pocket. Raven was acting really weird, like she almost cared...maybe it was the alcohol talking. “Feh. Beats meeting the next closeted cyborg tonight. I’ll call you,” he sighed as he walked away from the reservation hall.  
  
“You’d better, baby brother,” she called back, earning herself a middle finger. Raven watched him go before taking a deep breath and diving back into the party.  


* * *

************  
Qrow kicked an imaginary stone across the room where it landed in an make-believe kid’s vanilla ice cream cone. Of course she had to bring up luck, didn’t she. Miss _Make my Own Destiny_ and _Law is Life_ and _Can’t be Bothered to Raise my own Kid_. If there was one thing everyone could admire about his sister it was her determination, her resolve to see through what she started. Like every defining trait it sure was a fucking double-edged sword.  
  
Him? His one trait was ruining almost everything he touched.  
  
Qrow caught his shaking wrist. His hands desperately wanted to find a tool that wasn’t there, or steer a car he wasn’t with...in the end he reached in and settled on taking a big gulp of his trusted companion.  
  
When the flask retreated to his breast pocket Qrow found himself facing a veritable sea of gambling. Slot machines lined the linoleum walls, card tables across the hall from them, and behind an expensive-looking indoor garden sat roulette tables stocked with all kinds of figures you’d use as 1920s movie extras. Above it all an animatronic megabird screeched periodically, the blinking red text along its feet reading “The Nevermore.” Normally this was the kind of thing that Qrow would spit at and turn on his heels faster than Ruby could say cookies three times. A literal luck-based competition? If there was a hell he might be living it.  
  
But as his pockets rustled with the extra weight they carried Qrow smiled grimly. Maybe this was his chance to get back at the universe, use his penchant for poor fortune to his own benefit. It wasn’t like Raven was gonna need the new money working with Dr. Robotnik anyway.  
  
Already feeling the new liquid courage work its way through his muscles, Qrow slid past a plethora of remarkable characters, including a rich giant of a man laughing with his dark-haired wife at the slots, a stunning woman with stark-white hair and steel-blue eyes, and what seemed like a multicolor kid skipping through the aisles. Getting into the groove echoing around him, Qrow waltzed headlong into what he was sure would be the greatest waste of time in his life.

_____ _

____

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually inspired by a tiny passage in a Gauntlets and Greaves fic I read, My Pain & Misery, and it this seemed like a fun idea for a story. Updates will be pretty sporadic but this shouldn’t end up too long of a read.  
> Happy underrated ships!


	2. Vegas, baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If it helps, I wrote down both our notes for class already..?”

If there was one thing Winter hated about this event, it was how well she fit in.

Part of it was how well she could discuss things such as patient care AI and advanced prosthetics with professionals twice her age, while fielding inquiries on her accelerated master’s program she was finishing. Part of it was also how her silver shoulderless gown, topped with a matching light scarf and asymmetrical earring, that put her front and center of any conversation she was ensnared in. All of it screamed success, success at the highest level, and at times like these Winter despised it all.

But being happy was not a concern at this moment, and she bottled her spite deep where none could find it. She had a boss to find in this blasted casino, anyways. God forbid she do anything to embarrass Mr. Ironwood.

Mouthing quiet “thank you’s” as she deflected conversation traps, Winter scoured the room. How could a man who stood head and shoulders above anyone here be so...ah yes! The one man who could rescue her from this madness stood beside a crystal fountain, gloved hands held behind his back and deep in conversation with someone she couldn’t see. Winter made a beeline to her superior, hoping to ask if he’d dismiss her a few hours early.

Though Winter would normally suspect that earning such a sought-after internship would be due in part from a desire to please her father, she knew that Ironwood was no typical technologies magnate. A former Navy admiral, the president of AtlasMedical had been a close family friend since before Winter was enrolled in boarding school. Winter bore witness to the jovial and charismatic character the Admiral displayed when away from his duties, and an Atlas internship as a business expansion lead was one of the few choices her father would allow her to make herself.

Indeed, had her school advisor not personally come down and sent her back to classes Winter would have flunked out of graduate school with how many hours she invested in her work. It was exhilarating, one of the few things Winter felt she had ever had real control over in her life.

Control was certainly something Winter would appreciate, internally suffocating from the pressure of a million questions as she approached her superior and cleared her throat politely. “Admiral Ironwood, sir?”

When Ironwood turned Winter’s eyes widened at the smartly-dressed stranger suddenly appearing from the gap where his shoulders had been, a nonchalant posture propped up on stiletto heels and deep red eyes snapping to the newcomer. Ironwood himself smiled easily and raised a hand towards Winter. “I’ve told you Winter, no need for such poise. If you’d allow me, Miss Branwen, I’d like to introduce one of my most-qualified trainees, Miss Winter Schnee.”

Winter bit down on her internal scream from the Admiral’s praise. _Surely a barely twenty-one workaholic couldn’t be that impressive!_ Instead she reached out a hand for the dark-haired woman to shake once before Miss Branwen pulled back and crossed her arms to openly assess the heiress. Winter couldn’t help but double back to those bright blood-red eyes that intrigued her the way the tight business dress captivated other party-goers. Winter’s own eyes were a steely shade of blue she inherited from her mother, but never before had she seen such a one-of-a-kind trait. Surely this woman was the lifeblood of any party she bothered with.

“Call me Raven,” because _of course_ her name wasn’t Christie or Nora, “I’m the new legal counsel working alongside Atlas in the Southwest. You must be the star intern Jim has been going on about.” ( _Jim huh?_ Winter wondered.) “I swear, if I spent as much time talking about Vernal - where’s she gone to now? - we would be standing here until casino threw us out.”

Keeping in mind the first impression and definitely not gushing from her superior’s acclaim, Winter focused on the professional details. “The chief lawyer for Branwen Consul and Law herself, is it? I imagine we might work together at some length in the future. I intern for the business expansion element of AtlasMedical, and I’m pleased at the prospect of working with your firm.”

Raven gave a noncommittal hum. “High-powered intern, huh? Never let it be said that a Schnee stays subordinate for very long.” Before Winter could feel her breath catch in her throat Raven shrugged and tossed her head to the side. “My partner is over by the samplers trying to sneak them into her purse. Why don’t you go say hi and remind her of manners? I guess I’ll be seeing you around in the future.”

Barely able to fix the smile on her face and nod briefly, Winter eyed the Admiral before walking off in the nondescript direction Raven had given her. It wasn’t even Miss Branwen’s fault, really. Winter should’ve expected the next total stranger to judge her based on what they knew already.

All anyone ever knew about her was her **goddamn name**.

Keeping these thoughts as inward as she could, Winter steeled herself for another forced meeting and potential fear actualization, eventually spotting the suit-wearing and sampler-stealing woman a few -

Two hands grabbed the ends of her scarf and yanked so hard Winter was almost suplexed. Wheezing most ungracefully, Winter was ready to give her kidnapper a piece of her mind when she followed the arms up to an eternal shit-eating grin plastered on a far too-familiar face.

“Caught you!” Joanna snickered, wearing a much less ravishing dress herself. “I’ve been trying to rescue you since that flaming wreck of a conversation with Mr. Diet-and-Exercise back there. Not that he was wrong though, you’ve barely had more than a salad since we landed yesterday. Come on, let’s grab some snacks before -“

Winter waved at her friend to quiet her down. “That’s neither a here nor there Jo,” she hissed. “You know I’ve had tons of class work to make up since Ironwood asked us to come on this business trip! My professor will have my head if I give him one work excuse and I’m sorry food hasn’t come as a priority between new directives from my coordinator, and the study guide for the exam next week, and the...”

Joanna, who had most likely ignored the homework since before they knew they would be in Nevada for half a week, simply watched as Winter continued down a spiraling list of self-induced stressors until an extremely un-lady-like rumble erupted and froze Winter right through her train of thought. Joanna snickered.

Glancing to both sides for any witnesses of the embarrassing gesture Winter sighed. “I hate you so much right now,” she huffed.

“And..?”

“And I should really go meet our new partner.”

“Aaand?”

Another treacherous stomach growl. “...And I could really use a break for food...”

Joanna pumped two fists and grabbed her _friend_ by the shoulders, continuing to muss up Winter's careful lopsided bun. “That’s the spirit! You’ve already talked to dozens of sour faces, so let’s take some time to chow down and relax!”

Though she’d never admit it, Winter really appreciated having Jo with her sometimes. The only person remotely her age here, Joanna Juniper was also a grad student (though not three years ahead of her peers like Winter) and had applied for the Atlas internship since before Winter came to college. Though not necessarily what most would consider the most _studious_ of characters, Joanna had an eccentric personality that countered Winter’s unyielding determination with a near-whimsical cheerfulness that hid a perceptiveness that had pulled Winter from some of her more self-destructive tendencies. There weren’t many people Winter could call friends, and none of them looked out for her like Joanna.

Of course, that came with the obvious hassle of reining in someone with energy no amount of caffeine could inspire in Winter. Jo pushed her straight through conversations that Winter continuously apologized for as she was shoved across the reservation hall without any idea of where they were going.

“Where are we going?” Winter asked redundantly; Joanna wouldn’t give away a surprise for free.

Jo’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “You’ll find out in a second,” she allowed before dragging them through an obscenely-ornate entryway that led into a well-trimmed indoor garden.

Winter turned to face a bustling arena many times larger than their former club room, a giant machine of a crow, ostensibly labelled The Nevermore, cawing into the ceiling. Winter glanced through the reeds at row upon row of slot machines before putting the brakes on her friend’s rampage.

“Just what do you think you’re doing, Jo?” Winter deadpanned. “Did you use my need for food as an excuse to drag me to this dreg?”

“Don’t be so stuck-up, missy,” Joanna tutted. “This is literally **The** Nevermore, like the biggest casino this side of Vegas, baby? You’re telling me we get dragged halfway across the country and _shouldn’t_ have fun for a night? Besides, technically they have food here too, so I didn’t _lie_ to you...” Jo mumbled..

“Yeah...no, Jo, this is way beyond anything weird we’ve done in the last two years, I’ve got -”

Not even letting her finish Joanna seized Winter by the scarf for the second time tonight. “Come on Winter, pull that Schnee stick out of your ass and enjoy yourself! There’s nothing to lose in a little bit of fun!”

Winter fumed at her friend. “Forgive me for having enough self-awareness to remember my responsibilities even when being tugged around by an _overage_ child. Gambling is a waste of time and money anyways, and only one of those is an infinite resource for me.”

Joanna crossed her arms with a sneer and immediately Winter knew something was up. “Alright then, leave. Go ahead and stay up all night while I use my stipend for some good.”

MIss Schnee blinked. “You’re...actually not going to try and talk me out of it?”

Jo nodded with a growing smirk, green eyes glittering. “You’re free to do as you please, Win. Just like I’m free to tell Weiss about the sorority party you got wasted at last semester.”

Winter instantly blanched. “You bitch! You wouldn’t **dare** \- no, I take it back, you definitely would be so scheming,” she screeched most uncharacteristically.

Her traitorous friend wagged her cell phone at her like a chew toy while dodging the incensed intern. “Can you imagine? The look of horror and betrayal on your dear sister’s face, knowing her pure and uptight role model was all a façade for a crazy girl who bided her time until her twenty-first birthday to unleash mayhem?”

“That was all your fault too!” Winter babbled, clearly lost. “I should know better than to ever listen to your crazy plans, you manipulating little -”

Joanna, whose brown ponytail had become disheveled in their exchange, clamped down on her mouth as she gestured at the weird looks they were getting, releasing her when it was clear she’d calmed down a little. “Look, hate me or not, you seriously have not taken a break since that godforsaken one night out. Believe me when I say this is in your best interest. Please, Win, let’s crash this party together!”

Winter stilled at the sudden concern for a moment, shallow breaths and sweaty palms. “Jo -”

“If it helps, I wrote down both our notes for class already..?” The begging look was unfortunately and intentionally super effective on Winter.

_Let it be known that I will regret every moment of this_ , Winter lamented as she reached out a hand that Joanna eagerly grabbed and continued out the garden, past a gruff-looking giant of a man banging his fist against a slot machine and another red-eyed stranger looking as lost as she felt, her friend already babbling about all the games they had to try that had Winter’s head spinning.

* * *

If you asked Winter how she felt at the moment, regret would not be a word you’d hear.

Initially Winter had laid out the terms on which she’d play. She’d allotted a quarter of their monthly stipends to casino chips, and once those were inevitably exhausted they’d immediately head straight to their hotel room for the evening. Also they would steer clear of the slots; the last thing Winter needed out of her escapism was even more lack of control of the outcomes. So they’d started at the blackjack table, one of the familiar games Klein had shown her as a teenager.

They left the table with twice as much as they’d come with.

Joanna had (un)intentionally ignited one of the rarer bouts of excitement that possessed Winter rapturously, and by now Winter was the one dragging her _bestie_ from table to table, each time adding a hefty sum to their earnings. Even Jo felt a little dumbfounded; was inordinate luck some obscure trait of the Schnee heritage?

Winter gave her no time to ponder this as she approached one of the few games they hadn’t tried their hand at. Surrounded by a small crowd, a single well-dressed gentleman with bright orange hair turned and raised a cane to the ceiling. “Welcome,” he purred, “to the Wheel of Destiny! Known to the non-believers as Roulette, of course.”

Winter had already dropped a few hundred dollars worth of tokens on the table before Joanna could ask her if she really wanted to play this. Winter, despite having more money available than basically anyone except Ironwood, was typically frugal, denoting a budget for nearly anything she did. What could have _possibly_..? Oh, of course. Winter had that shimmering gleam in her eye that not many people recognized, but Jo had been around her long enough to know that the eldest Schnee was in a competitive spirit. Contrary to what most believed, Winter was unexpectedly fierce when she found something she was good at. Who knew that Schnees were fond of winning.

Joanna sidled over to her almost **vibrating** friend, who jumped at the poke aimed at her stomach. “You’ve grabbed something to eat, right? It’s been an hour and you haven’t let off the games here...”

Winter shook her head, keeping her eyes on the betting table. “No time, Jo. Have you seen the odds here? Roman described to me just how much skill it takes to succeed at roulette, and you’ve seen the roll we’re on!” she cheered.

Jo rolled her eyes excessively slowly. “Right, hun. Tons of skill in roulette, the literal game of chance...” she drawled.

Winter rolled hers right back. “Well, I guess we should stop by the diner soon. Lemme play this last round, kay?”

Joanna shrugged, having already lost her stipend and promised to steal most of Winter’s winnings, which she’d damn near snarled at. Jo arched her eyebrow, however, when she saw just how much Winter was throwing onto the table.

Winter perked at her friend’s inquiring look. “I’m on a streak, Jo, besides, it’s been a black number the past six runs! Mathematically there’s absolutely no chance it isn’t red this time!” 

Before she could counter the obvious leap in logic Roman slammed down the bets-closing bar with a wink. The well-dressed devil raised the roulette ball in an obviously-showman fashion, and with a large wind-up he tossed the ball through the wheel.

Spinning and spinning, Winter’s eyes followed the ball wickedly, totally certain she’d add a hefty sum to their winnings. After all she’d minored in math statistics (among other things), and there was no chance the outcome would be anything but a -

“Black thirteen,” Roman called out, putting on a remorseful expression as he happily took away Winter’s hard-earned tokens. Joanna winced; that amount of losses would’ve bankrupted any gambler who hadn’t been on such a winning spree.

Winter stood shell-shocked, barely reacting at the hand shaking her shoulder. Eventually she recovered enough to shake off some of her surprise - _seven_ blacks in a row? No way this game was rigged, was there?!

“How..?” Winter breathed, as Roman tutted, doing some quick mental math with a wad of coins in his hands. Shrugging, the roulette ref took most of them and pushed them to the other end of the table.

A raven-haired, red-eyed gentleman stared back at them, suddenly awash in tokens and looking even more surprised than they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-daa! Because obviously this fic will alternate between the Snowbirds' perspectives...  
> Here I introduced the only OC I'll probably ever want to use, and it's a nod to the inspiration for this fic.  
> Speaking of inspirations...that RWBY Chibi episode tho, amirite?? Mortal frenemies with benefits ;)


	3. All or nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I have a name, you know."

Qrow hadn’t really calculated for this.

Sure, he’d _meant_ to sit down and waste as much of Raven’s pity cash on whatever games he could tolerate. Slots had been too cheesy and obnoxious, the poker table took too long as people thought he was always bluffing, so eventually he’d made his way to a roulette table manned by an idiot ginger. There he would sit, occasionally sipping from a margarita glass and tossing chips left and right on the board without bothering to glance at what was happening.

So imagine his surprise when he turned back to the table only to find his hands swamped with tokens.

Last he’d checked he’d been on his last two stacks of chips, and suddenly he was faced with more than he thought was possible. More than a little confused, he raised a hand to the man named Roman and pointed at the mountain sitting in front of him. “Hey, bud, I didn’t ask for any of this.”

One heavily-shadowed eyebrow raised in question. “I’d have to say, that’s one response to winning **three thousand dollars** I didn’t expect.” Seeing Qrow’s eyes boggle the red devil snickered. “Can’t say I’ve had luckier guests than you for awhile now. Though I wouldn’t wanna be in your shoes when it comes to dealing with our other patron,” he added with a whisper.

Qrow looked up. “Who?”

With another conceited smile the dealer drew his shoulder back to reveal the same bedazzling woman Qrow’d passed an hour ago seated across the table from him, wearing just as dazzled an expression while her friend violently shook her from her stupor. The shock of white hair wrapped in an off-center bun had damn near come undone, as well as the fashionable scarf that revealed alabaster skin. Qrow would’ve engaged in some indulgent staring if he wasn’t so at a loss with the whole situation.

After a moment the gorgeous woman recovered and her gaze trailed up the sea of tokens until reaching Qrow, who stiffened under her suddenly-aggravated expression.

“You!” she hissed, pointing a finger like a saber at the roulette rascal derisively.

Qrow looked left and right, pointing back at himself questioningly.

The brown-haired woman tried desperately to calm her down, but she was having none of it. “No one should have been able to predict that outcome, let alone make such a hefty bet on a single blasted number! Hand over the tokens _immediately!_ ”

(“Oh boy,” muttered the friend, who had presently given up on stopping the tirade.)

Now normally Qrow would have done anything to appease the silky damsel before him and maybe get her for a drink or two, but this time was different. For once in his life he doesn’t roll snake eyes, and someone accuses him of cheating?

Not to mention he was already drunk enough not to care what anyone thought by now...

So instead Qrow reached out and raked in his winnings brusquely, snorting at the angry woman. “I dunno where you think yer from, princess, but it’s rude to try and steal a man’s winnings.” He chuckled when she growled at the nickname. “No, lady, if you wanted to win some of this goodness back, you have ta _earn_ it.”

Her face contorted several times between shock, fury, and eventually jaw-setting determination that did weird things to his head as she sat back down aggressively. “Alright, then, if it’s a game you want, it’s a game you’ll **get**.”

With that, Snow White and the Hot Temper launched a 500-dollar chip at the board, which Roman quickly adjusted. “Red,” she announced in a clipped tone.

Quickly catching on Qrow tossed a stack on the board as well. “Black,” he purred, kicking both feet onto the table as Roman wound up another run.

The ball swung its way across the wheel, all parties following it closely until - 

“Black,” Roman said with much less bravado, as he had become the backseat to a deadly competition.

Qrow immediately smiled widely at Miss Whitey, who gritted her teeth and set another token on the board. “Red,” she repeated.

“Black,” answered her opponent.

The ball came to a stop. “Red.”

The sneer she sent was vicious and Qrow immediately wanted to wipe it off her face...or something like that. As Mr. Torchwick passed her winnings Qrow threw twice as many chips onto the board. “Even,” Qrow asserted.

His evening rival doubled down as well. “Odd.”

Roman hovered over the roulette wheel. “Odd.”

Two more bitter glances were passed and twice as many bets placed.

“Red.”

“Black.”

“...The Madam wins again.”

Qrow bit down on his cheek. Fighter and scrapper he was, he usually didn’t get riled up so easily. It was **definitely** the alcohol. “Black.”

Complacent in her victory the woman smirked. “You won’t win with that just because it worked the first time.”

“Black,” Roman answered for him.

Qrow made a show of sweeping the chips up and raining them back on his side of the table. “You were saying, sweetheart?”

The angry frown that returned was already familiar. “Don’t even try, you crass old man.” She and her friend heaved an exorbitant amount of tokens onto the board.

 _Old man_ rolled his eyes and matched the bet. “Watch it, queenie, most men don’t like their age being questioned either.”

She huffed audibly. “I have a name, you know.”

Qrow hid a smile behind exaggerated crossed arms. “Oh you do? I would never have guessed.”

Lips twisting in quiet rage she huffed. “My _name_ is Winter. Winter **Schnee**.”

At his pause the newly named opponent laughed mockingly. “What is it, cat got your tongue? Didn’t expect that now, did you?”

Rubbing the icy steel in his pocket (why were their names so similar?) Qrow collected himself, slowly grinning back. “Nah, I was just thinking about how obvious that was.”

“Obvious..?”

“Yeah,” he jeered, “what a perfect name for such a friggin _Ice Queen_.”

At that remark she seemed ready to send a chip straight through his skull. “And **your** name must be some variant of -”

“Even,” Roman called, shaking them out of their wordsduel.

The woman’s anger wavered momentarily. “What were...who bet even this round again?”

Qrow snickered loudly, even though he’d actually forgotten who’d placed what as well. True to form she sent a laser stare that would’ve melted weaker men. Roman sighed and pushed the tokens back to Qrow, which only vexed the schnow angel more.

With an audible gnashing of teeth his new nemesis took her entire bag of tokens and placed them square on the board, eyes deadset on Qrow the entire time.

“All or nothing. Black.”

Internally Qrow’s stomach flipped at the imminent end of the game he’d been consumed by, but Qrow held his gaze to hers, taking a single symbolic chip from the top and tossing it right across. “Red it is.”

The poor dealer, probably having never seen such a bet on his watch involving such a vast amount of chips, glanced at both of the competitors, skipped the show and simply tossed the ball down the wheel. Two sets of eyes followed its every move. Two others were locked on each other.

Which was a shame, too, because there was a sudden rattling and Roman was now looking really confused and sorry. “I...I’m afraid the ball jumped the wheel, ma’am. Drat, I forgot to bring my spares today, right at the climactic bet, too!”

Though Roman seemed genuinely frustrated Qrow fought to keep his giggles contained. He’d seen the obvious knee striking the side of the table just as the ball started slowing down. A fitting end to what had felt like a never-ending war.

The fair dame was having none of it. “Jumped out, Roman?! That doesn’t even seem **possible**! I swear you’d better find me a new ball or so help me -”

She never got to finish because by then Qrow had crossed the table on a whim and collected his half in the tote bag he’d been given. Stepping past the frazzled brown-haired friend Qrow stood right beside his opponent’s chair. She stared at him, obviously unsure of what he meant to do, until he did the last thing either of them would’ve expected.

Qrow offered a hand without even thinking. “I have ta admit, Ice Queen, beating you fair and square was a helluva way to spend the rest of my sorry evening. Good game.”

For a long second she stared at him as if he’d grown an extra head. Then her own hand snaked out to grasp his.

Tightly. So tightly, in fact, that Qrow couldn’t pull away if he tried. _Ice bitch_ narrowed her eyes and quickly pulled down, almost sending him crashing on top of her.

“If you’re so brazen about winning,” she whispered, sending prickles along his spine, “how about we find out who the real winner is, hmm?”

Qrow stilled, breath quickening and stomach continuing to do random acrobatics. But despite all the weird signals going off in his head he knew one thing for sure.

So after an undue pause Qrow got his vengeance, abruptly pulling back on the woman in his grip and hurtling her into a standing position. Almost eye to eye now, he shook his head, ignoring how obviously beautiful she was, and grinned wickedly.

“All you really had to do is ask,” he answered with all the suave he could muster.

Because no matter what, Qrow Branwen **never** backed down from a challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where will next chapter take them? Bet you'll never guess (it's rated T so not the bedroom, unfortunately)  
> Just gonna put it out there, if you've got nothing better to do and are feeling adventurous, check out the rest of my works if you want...I've got a wide variety of fics coming up :)  
> Kudo and komment, hope you liked it~


	4. Fuck it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're welcome to say no."

“One. Two. Three!”

Two shots were thrown back with two very different reactions. Winter wheezed viciously as the liquor burned down her throat, but Qrow was wheezing of laughter.

“I honestly can’t believe you fell for that!” he said between snickers. “No kid should ever throw a shot back like I would. Hell, that drink even had _me_ itching. Hey Junior, what’s this one called again?”

“I’ve told you twice, my name is Hei Xiong,” the bartender muttered, “and it’s a _Fire and Ice_ with some Vacuo Vodka.”

Qrow eyed the glass before swiping down the inside and licking his finger. “Write it down fer me, would ya, never seen that one on shelves back home.”

“That’s because it isn’t sold on shelves, idiot,” Winter butt in, gulping down water and shooting the red-eyed miscreant a death glare. “ _Fire and Ice_ is a specialty mixer distributed to select establishments across the country. It’s so that brutes like you aren’t able to get their hands on it.” She coughed into her hand. “Honestly, I don’t know why I agreed to this...”

Winter yelped and jumped back when red eyes leaned in, the scent of four drinks heavy on his breath. “That doesn’t mean you’re admitting defeat now, are ya Ice Queen?”

While normally she probably wouldn’t have risen to the bait so easily, all she could see in her drunken stupor was the same shit-eating grin she’d been trying to wipe out for hours. “I’m just surprised you’re too **stupid** to have not conceded already. We exhausted all the games in the casino so you decided to challenge me to a drink-off?”

The older man just shrugged, swirling the dregs of his drink. “Can’t be so stupid if you agreed. If I remember right I won the slots and roulette.”

“You didn’t win roulette, we tied!” Winter argued. “Besides, those are games of luck. I crushed you in blackjack and poker.”

“I wouldn’t call it crushing if I just bluffed every single time,” Qrow mumbled. He threw a glance outside the bar. “What happened to yer buddy anyways?”

The question distracted her from the task of putting him in his place. “I suppose Joanna got tired of chasing after us across the Nevermore. I did promise to leave about an hour ago actually.” _Where had the evening gone?_ Had she really spent two hours being followed by this gross, uncouth, handsome stranger?

Or was she following him around?

Trying to follow her own train of thought was giving her a bigger headache than the liquor. “Look, Qrow, was it? I really have to go soon, else I run the risk of neglecting my work tonight.”

The black-haired slouch leaned back, crinkling the expensive suit he wore carelessly. “Thinking about work even after three drinks? You really must be a Shney, huh?”

Winter’s eyes boggled. “I thought you told me you didn’t even know what a Schnee was!”

Qrow shrugged, smirking at her reaction. “Not until I did a quick Google search on whatever the hell yer name was.” Seeing her expression he raised both hands defensively. “Hey, whatever you think this is about now, it ain’t about the moneybags your daddy stuffs. I’m not interested in robbing you, Schnow Shnees.”

Relaxing at his statement, Winter hummed. “If that’s the case, what _are_ you here for?”

In a rare display of clarity Qrow seemed a little confused and uncomfortable, before turning back to the menu with a huff. “Why don’t we just finish this last bout?”

Winter rolled her eyes but didn’t press the question. “How does this even work again?”

“The game is simple,” he answered, turning to the bartender to make another order. “We each get the same drink and ask a truth or dare, and whoever passes gives the other a point then we repeat. First one ta three points wins.”

How childish was he? “You can’t be serious! Isn’t this just drunk truth or dare?”

“Eh, I like to call it _honest_ truth or dare. Cuts through a lot of the pussyfooting real fast.”

Winter pinched the bridge of her nose. Ugh! How did she get caught up in such a boyish game? She really could just up and leave right here, and she probably should have.

But that would mean he won this little game of theirs, and that damnable smirk would stay practically glued on his face. That trademark lopsided grin made her feel really uncomfortable, hot and flustered and all too self-aware. She wanted it **dead**.

“Alright, we’ll play your stupid game, but I get to go first. What did you order?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Qrow answered, seemingly inordinately pleased that she’d let herself get ensnared in this waste of time. “I’ve decided to put some of my winnings to good use and got us - Junior what did you call it again?”

“It’s a Mantle _Ménage à deux_ , and my name is Hei Xiong, dammit!”

“Whatever you say pal, here’s a tip for being so hospitable,” Qrow waved off, tossing some chips at the seething barman. “Man, I kinda see why rich people are such dicks to everyone. Throwing money at everything seems really convenient.”

Winter palmed her face, feeling secondhand embarrassment for all wealthy people. “Just shut up, you, you...bird-brain.” Alcohol wasn’t helping her wit, that was for sure.

Rather than be insulted the avian man burst out laughing. “An hour into this and that’s the best you can do?” He placed the new drinks, which looked like white tequila laced with splashes of red, on the tall table separating them. “I can’t wait to see how you stand after two of these.”

Biting her tongue so she wouldn’t dig herself deeper, Winter picked up the glass. “Let’s get this over with then. One, two -”

She learned her lesson this time, tipping the drink back slowly until she had emptied it. Where the last one was freezing cold before burning in her throat, this tequila was fruity and bittersweet. Evidently Qrow had just gulped his down all at once, belching loudly as he slammed the empty glass down.

“Must you be such a savage? I thought you were used to being drunk.”

His trademark sneer was slipping, probably like his motor skills. “I was just lettin ev’ryone know how much I enjoyed that one. Now fire away, Ice Queen.”

Ah, right. The truth or dare part. She had no intention of dragging this on so she’d better hit hard and fast.

“You’ve haven’t used my name at all tonight. I dare you to say my full name correctly.”

Qrow blinked, waiting to see if there were more to her question. “Is that really it? Heh, I didn’t expect you to go easy on me.”

“What? I wasn’t - you **clearly** can’t say my name, you oaf!” she spluttered.

The devilish stud just held up a finger while taking a swig out of a flask he’d produced out of nowhere. It looked like the only thing he owned that wasn’t dusty and brusque. Qrow gulped once, twice, and sighed before enunciating perfectly -

“Winter Willow Schnee.”

She swallowed hard. Damn. Not only had he said it perfectly, but now she was feeling strangely violated by it. How dare he say it so well! And why was she blushing?

His smug smile told her he’d clearly seen that. “What, didn’t expect me to do’it?” He held up his phone tauntingly. “Never underestimate a man armed with th’Internet.”

It suddenly sang a jingle before shutting down. “Shit! Why did ya have ta run outta battery now?” Qrow said, shaking the dead device roughly.

Winter giggled at his farce. “Oh well, you know what they say about old men and technology...” She held up a finger when he made to throw back a retort. “Ah ah ah, don’t you have a question to ask?”

Qrow grumbled about being cut off but put a finger to his chin, swaying slightly in his chair. Evidently he hadn’t thought ahead.

“Err ok. Uhh...” Was he seriously going to waste her time? His face brightened after a moment. “I’ve got it! You have zero siblings. Truth?”

Winter rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time. “Actually I have a younger brother and sister, thank you very much. Any reason you assumed I didn’t?”

Qrow snorted, “No reason.”

“Liar!”

“You can’t prove that.” Oh, this good-for-nothing...

“Alright, truth. Admit it, you assumed I was an only child cause I’m _sooo_ stuck up.”

“Are you really gonna waste your - ”

“Answer the question, Qrow!”

He raised his hands up in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, sure, _maybe_ that’s why I thought so.” He seemed pretty uncomfortable admitting that so she was satisfied.

“But yes, I do have two siblings. One of whom I love to death and the other I...tolerate.” Winter smiled at her memory of growing up with Weiss, and later being saddled with babysitting Whitley.

Two more drinks came their way. “I get that. _Tolerate_ is probably the most positive word for me and my sister too.”

Winter cocked an eyebrow. “You have a sister?”

“She’s here, actually. Most of the reason I ended up all the way in Nevada tonight. But I thought it was my turn ta ask questions, Ice Queen.”

A brief memory of different red eyes flitted through her mind. So Raven Branwen was this old man’s sister. She should’ve guessed that.

Qrow counted down and this time the drink **really** hit her hard. The room had a slight haze to it, and every time she tilted her head she felt mildly seasick. Drat.

“Woah, menage a doo my ass that hurt,” Qrow confirmed, tipping the glass upside down while cradling his forehead. “Anyways, uhh...yer over eighteen. True or false?”

Winter’s cheeks blushed furiously. “What do you mean, _eighteen_! Didn’t you just look me up online?!”

He cringed at her sudden increase in volume. “Yea but that was, like, hours ago.”

“I’m drinking with you right now! You know what - I dare you to guess my age correctly!”

He balked, clearly digging deep for any mention of her age. “Ahh, umm...”

 _Man, he sure is cute when he’s flustered_. Stop! She glared at the empty glass. What treacherous things alcohol did to her mind, making him seem so annoying and idiotic and beautiful as all hell...

“Uhh, alright, I’m going with twenty!”

Ha! First point Winter! “Wrong! I’m twenty-one!” she said, more smug than Qrow had been all night. “Besides, why would I be seen in public drinking with you if I was underage?”

He dropped his head to the table with a bang. “Maybe I forgot the legal age for a moment. So whaat?”

He bolted up, gaze narrowed and looking ready for a fight. Seems like he didn’t like losing. “Another refill please.” He sounded really clear all of the sudden. When the tequila was back he downed it quickly and she followed. “I dare you to guess **my** age.”

That wasn’t fair! At least she looked her age. He might’ve acted fourteen but he could be almost fifty, she wouldn’t know...

“...Forty-two.”

“Wrong. I’m only thirty-one. Looks like I tied the score,” he said in a sing-song voice.

“That wasn’t fair!” she argued. “You could’ve been anywhere between thirty and fifty!”

He laughed out loud at her. “Which is exactly why there ain’t many rules n’this game, Icey!” Qrow booped her on the nose and she swiped his hand away, still blushing inexplicably.

“Dare!” she countered, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach. “I dare you to steal ten chips from Roman’s table.”

He groaned. Totally deserved it. “Pass. Don’t need to get thrown out now.”

As _Junior_ passed them two more drinks - four drinks? - she probably was having a bit too much - she stuck her tongue at him childishly, which he easily returned. “Two-one for me, old man.”

“Hey, I told you my age, I ain’t that old yet!” he growled, shoving back the drink and spilling half of it on his jacket. “Man, that one went down quicker than the- _hic!_ \- last. Okay Ice Queen, I dare you to tell Ironwood yer done with his shit and quitting!”

“That’s crossing - _urgh_ \- a line, asshole! I’m not telling my boss that!” Alcohol sure tasted better than it felt...

“Your loss, Shneeze. Two all.” If he realized that she was about to win their little game he didn’t show it, drinking water straight from the jug at the table.

She needed to end this. Not only since her head was probably actually spinning, nor to get back to her room, but so that she could finally wipe that irreparable smirk off his face! What could he possibly...

“Dare,” she stated, serious as she could be. “I dare you to ask someone in the bar to _marry_ you. I doubt a brute like you could find anyone willing to put up with your fantastic...your infuriating smirk of yours.”

Seemed like her assessment was true, even if it was a little heartless to make assumptions about his love life. He was actually quiet for once, staring at the ground and running a finger along the rim of his glass.

“Clearly you’ve passed again, which means I have three points and I’ve won - ”

Qrow shushed her with a finger to her lips, clearly deep in thought.

“What is it?” She couldn’t really make out his expression, trying to focus was getting hard.

He pulled out his flask and stared at the gunmetal grey booze bottle, seemingly conflicted. Shrugging, he took a quick sip before splashing a glass of water at his face and stumbling out of his chair.

What was he getting up for? And why was he rounding the table to her?

He did the last thing she would’ve ever expected and knelt by her chair, grabbing her right hand that was frozen stiff in shock. Goodness, he was causing a scene, and everyone in the bar was watching them. Even Hei Xiong was glancing at them, rolling his eyes at the shitshow that was their game.

“Stop it - no, this **isn’t** what it looks like! What are you -” she hissed to anyone, hoping for an escape from this mess that was her evening, but Qrow tugged on her hand and she made the mistake of turning to face him.

“Miss Winter Willow Schnee,” Qrow said, face soaked and hair dripping as he slipped something on her finger, “would you give this gentleman the chance to marry you, to cherish you for life and to make you as happy as can be?”

She really should have seen that coming. How could Qrow do this to her? Why was she getting so worked up over a fake proposal? And what was it he’d put on her -

“Where did you get _this_?!” Winter squeaked.

A beautiful steel ring sparkled from her finger, shining clearly through her drunken haze. It was small and unassuming but Winter was captivated by it, twisting her arm this way and that to get a better look at the ruby-red crystal circling the center.

Still grinning, Qrow looked away sheepishly. “Oh you know, I had it just in case the occasion came up. D’you like it?”

Winter was at a loss for words. This had gotten out of hand - she couldn’t actually say yes to this! But the ring was so pretty, sparkling in the barlight...

“You’re welcome to say no,” Qrow whispered, shaking her out of her contemplation, “though I know how much you'd hate causing a scene by rejecting me. Not to mention that would _probably_ mean losing the bet.”

Ugh, if the press got wind of this her father would have her head.

“Fuck it,” she muttered, emptying her glass one more time before stepping off her chair. “You know what? Fine. I accept your - **gah**!”

Standing was apparently suddenly difficult after an hour of drinking, but luckily Qrow saw it coming and Winter found herself wrapped in lean arms and a familiar stench of alcohol. “Easy there, Ice Queen. Don’t want you making more of a scene, do ya?”

He was right, actually. The whole bar was applauding, none the wiser to the gross misunderstanding, Junior offering complimentary drinks and a pale-skinned woman sitting at the bar looking incredibly envious. Were any of them paparazzi? Just trying to make them out was making her head throb.

“Qrow,” she mumbled, bringing his gaze back to her. God, that smirk was way hotter up close and in his arms, “I don’t...I don’t want to stay here anymore.”

He blinked, peering at her with something akin to concern. “Winter, yer really not n’a position to go home on your own. Want me to take ya back?”

Winter tried thinking for a moment and was interrupted by a sharp stab of pain in her skull. The last thing she wanted was for Jo to see her in this state. She couldn’t go to her room now.

“Can we - ” this was so embarrassing - “...can you take me to your room?” When his eyes nearly popped out of his head she waved a hand feebly. “Not like **that** , idiot. I just...I don’t want to go back like this.”

Qrow stared at her, looking incredibly conflicted before sighing and picking her up bridal style, much to her drunk chagrin. “Well then, Ice Princess...” he drawled, devilish charm back in full, “I hope you’re ready for a once-in-a-lifetime journey.”

She huffed but wore a small smile as Qrow cut through the crowd with all the grace and gusto of a man drunk off his rocker, humming a light tune as he carried her out of The Nevermore.

For better or worse, Winter knew she would _never_ forget this night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a while didn't it? Sorry work is a pain and exam season more so but I decided I might as well get a chapter out the day before my birthday~ Happy reverse bday present I guess...


	5. Shitshitshitshitshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If we’re going to be technical, I’m pretty sure we didn’t _actually_ have sex."

Qrow had no idea what happened last night.

He could vaguely recall being dragged around some social mixer by Raven, then meeting some hardly-convincing tin man, but after that everything was a cacophony of poker chips and some screeching animatronic bird.

Typical. Raven gave him the chance to fuck her over and he took it as soon as he could. Qrow just hoped he’d done something more interesting than simply flushing her pity money down a toilet.

Daring to blink his eyes open, he hissed and blocked out the midday sun that was prodding him to get up and do something with his life. The pounding in his skull, though something he’d grown used to operating under, would likely get worse before it got better.

“Ugh...”

“You can say that again.”

...

All at once Qrow had leapt off his mattress as the stranger followed suit, only looking a little more surprised and hungover than he felt. Wide blue eyes were staring at him as if he’d turned into a pigeon right in front of her.

Blue eyes. White hair. C’mon, he didn’t usually blank on the names of hookups that fast!

“I, uh...I guess we both blacked out last night, huh?” Qrow said hopefully.

The girl (who was still in her underwear - seems they didn’t get very far) stammered out a reply, only to shriek as realized she was just as naked as he was.

The shrill voice was enough to rattle his brain. “Pipe down, will ya? If you’re ashamed that we had sex you don’t have to worry, we obviously didn’t go anywhere past third base. Probably,” he added under his breath.

The last bit didn’t go unnoticed as the woman’s skin took on a visibly red flush. The panic in her eyes settled into something more familiar, something like...

Rage.

“You disgusting, manipulative cretin!” the snow-haired demon hollered. “I can’t believe you used a drinking game to get me into bed with you, Branwen!” She immediately stalked off to find her things before he could even recover from the verbal flooring she just gave him.

“Look, lady, I don’t care who you are but - what?” Qrow paused in his retort when she whirled around to glare at him.

“Say my name,” she whispered, which was somehow even more threatening in a lacy two-piece undergarment.

Qrow didn’t answer.

Her eyes narrowed into slits.

Qrow started sweating out the alcohol that had gotten him into this mess.

Slowly, her right arm reached out and she delicately picked up a stack of casino chips that was sitting on the coffee table.

“You...

“ **PERVERT**!” she yelled, hurling it at his face with all her strength. Qrow flinched from the sheer volume of her battlecry and narrowly avoided a casino-chip shuriken to the forehead.

“Mongrel! Bastard! Idiot! Pervert!” she continued, grabbing as many projectiles as she could to render him into mincemeat. Qrow, in nothing but his boxers, could do nothing but angle his back to take most of the hits.

What a great way to start the morning. “You said pervert twice,” he muttered.

“Shut up! You’re a double pervert then!”

“The hell’s a - look, Miss Frigid Bitch of the North, call me all the names you want, but let me be clear, I did no such thing as take advantage - what is it now?”

Though the girl had stopped mid-throw, the fierceness of her gaze only grew. “What did you call me?”

Now under normal circumstances, hell even if he were just the _slightest_ bit less hungover, he might’ve thought better than to aggravate someone who was already armed and dangerous. Today wasn’t a day for smart decisions.

“Did I not enunciate clearly?” Qrow said, stepping forward slowly as his memory came back to him. “Frigid Bitch. Snow White and the Scorching Temper. Ice Queen.” He got right up in her face and leaned down, making sure she smelled the whiskey on his breath. “You have a preference, Miss Winter Schnee?”

Her slap was instant, but definitely not unexpected. “I’m leaving,” she decided, turning around to gather her things even as his body recovered from the recoil.

“Suit yourself,” Qrow yawned, nursing his cheek and digging for his phone while taking discreet glances at the fine backside on full display. Well, discreet until she noticed, glaring meaningfully and giving him the bird as she picked up her dress from the floor.

Qrow eventually found his pants, buried under some bookshelf or another, and checked the pockets. Good, he still had his wallet, his phone, his -

Oh shit. Where was the ring?!

While the Ice Bitch went to the bathroom, presumably to look less like someone who’d woken up not five minutes ago, Qrow turned over the entire hotel room like a man possessed. There was no way it just fell out of his pants - that thing had stayed put for years at a time, and chose _this moment_ to grow legs and run off to -

Please no.

Anything but that.

As Winter strolled out of his kitchen with chin held high and not even a glance at him, Qrow’s stomach dropped as he saw what he dreaded most.

The ring was on her finger.

“Winter -” Qrow started, and she paused her march before ignoring him with a _hmph_ , “hey, hold on a second, you’ve got something of mine. Ice Queen? Ice Queen?”

So, she wanted to play the silent treatment card. Under less hostile circumstances he might’ve played along, but he needed his - thing back.

“Yo, Earth to Ice Bitch,” he hissed, stepping briskly to the door and reaching out to grab her shoulder, “are you even listening to -”

Before he could process anything Winter spun around and planted a solid knee in his nuts, driving him down to the floor instantly as she inspected her finger.

“You mean this, don’t you,” she said, holding out her hand so the red metal glittered in the afternoon sun. Qrow whimpered but before he could muster the energy to grab it she swiftly turned away. “Oh well. Looks like you’re going to have to find another one. And another woman to screw.” With that the Schnee girl stepped out the door.

“Winter wait!” Qrow groaned as the door clicked shut. Who knew a skinny kid like her could hit so fucking hard? It took another minute for him to get back on his feet, now nursing his cheek, his groin, and his ego. What a fine trip this was turning out to be.

From the counter Qrow’s phone blinked. A restaurant reservation for 3 PM with Raven down the street. Terrific. The only way, the only way this could get worse was if he’d somehow actually done anything with that evil fiend last night.

Conveniently enough, his memory wouldn’t confirm or deny that for him.

* * *

Raven and Vernal liked to use their time away from work to decompress, and that much was obvious by how they dressed. Vernal was wearing some tattered death metal t-shirt with a spiked collar, finishing the look with combat boots that screamed _I’m definitely hiding blades in the soles _. Raven simply threw on some tank top and a shawl, but with those aviators and the bored posture she still looked like some kind of bandit queen or something.__

____

____

The two paused their conversation to gawk at Qrow amble towards them, a plastic bag in each hand overflowing with casino chips from the night before and wearing blackest of black sunglasses with a designer shirt someone had given him for some plumbing job back in Patch.

Qrow mumbled apologies left and right as he cut through to the balcony seats they’d taken, dropping his bags to the ground and sitting down with the grace of a walrus.

Vernal snickered while Raven simply propped her head on a hand and waited.

“...If I told you I wasn’t trying to win all this, would you believe me?” Qrow groaned, swiping Vernal’s water and flipping her off when she stuck her tongue at him.

Raven hummed in the way she probably reserved for the kind of client that tried to write off lost investments as charity donations. “Likely story. I have to say, little brother, if I knew that casinos made up for all your bad luck I’d bring you on a lot more business trips.”

Qrow eyed her balefully. “Try that again and I **will** burn a money pile instead. Besides, I may have caused a bit of a scene last night...”

Well, now Raven was in full damage control mode, straightening her back and smoothing a stray lock of hair. “Alright, what did you get yourself into when I let you run around unsupervised? You do realize you represent us on this trip.”

Rather than answer outright Qrow raised an eyebrow at Vernal.

“Oh _please_ , you big baby,” she laughed, “what, just because we hooked up once means I don’t get to hear about your bad boy drama?”

The headache that had slowly been drifting away reared its ugly head. “Why can’t you ever let me forget that, I was totally drunk and trying to impress some other girl!”

“Sure, sure,” Vernal winked, “don’t forget, you didn’t even get me wasted, ladykiller.”

“So why’d you even let me do it!”

Raven’s partner shrugged. “Wanted to see if what all the hotties said was true. Don’t worry, though, you weren’t good enough for me to stop liking girls,” she added as she got up. “I’ll be back in ten, and Raven’s gonna give me all the details anyway~”

Once she was out of sight, Raven took off her sunglasses and put her hand on Qrow’s wrist. Where some might see a gesture of sibling support, Qrow knew she just left it there in case he tried to weasel out of explaining himself. “Normally when you’re drunk and doing something stupid I get about a dozen blurry photos, but I didn’t hear anything from you all evening. Did you actually sleep with someone the one night I left you alone?”

Ah, shit, there really was nothing to be said about Branwens and tact. “I mean...sort of? It’s complicated, okay?” he clarified when her eyes narrowed in the I’m-going-to-deconstruct-the-definition-of-hook-up way. “That’s besides the point. The main thing is I...”

Raven’s hand tightened its wristlock. For all the soap-style drama Raven left in her wake she did love hearing about someone else’s.

“...I lost the ring.”

That definitely wasn’t what she was expecting. There was a flash of genuine concern in her eyes before it was replaced with the default flat expression she wore. “Did you check your room thoroughly? Try retracing your steps? I can call the casino security right now -”

“ _Raven_!” Qrow hissed before she could actually. “Quit meddling! Besides, I, uh...didn’t lose it like that...”

Big Sister always had to be one step ahead of him when they were growing up, and Raven pieced together what happened faster than he could down a shot of whiskey. “Your one-night stand - she’s got the ring, doesn’t she?”

A skinny ginger server stepping behind Qrow’s chair tripped suddenly and sent a glass of water pouring onto his head. Not even bothering to listen to this Winchester dude’s frantic apology, Qrow just dropped his face onto the table with a groan.

Raven pat his hair in a half-fake half-real-concern-masqueraded-as-fake way. “I’m guessing you have no way of tracking this mystery woman down, do you?”

 _Well, shit_. “Even worse. I know exactly who she is.”

A deep breath. “I swear to god, Qrow, if it’s someone from Atlas, I **will** hit you.”

This was going to go great. “Stark white hair, steel blue eyes, mostly talks as if she was born a century ago..?”

Qrow didn’t bother blocking the ten-pound purse that fell on his skull. “Either you’re lying to me or I’m going to hit you again. _Please_ tell me you didn’t fuck Winter Schnee.”

“If we’re going to be technical, I’m pretty sure we didn’t _actually_ have sex. Just woke up in the same bed after a few drinks. In our underwear.” 

His sister just stared at him.

Man, the ground sure was interesting right now...

Raven wound back a fist, but ended up just flicking his forehead. “Wonderful. My darling of a brother goes out of his way to somehow find the most disastrous lay in all of Las Vegas in a single night. How did you even convince her to go out with you? From what James told me she’s almost more of a hardass than he is.”

Running a hand through his soaked hair, Qrow used her choice of words to turn the tables on her. “James, huh?”

Big Sister’s cheeks flared red for half a second before she leaned back and scoffed. “James Ironwood. Admiral Ironwood. Same person, isn’t it? What, am I not allowed to call my business partner by his first name? You call everyone you meet random nicknames anyways, what would you know about anything, huh?”

Qrow shook her wrist playfully. “Relax, Raven, what’s got you all worked up? I wasn’t insinuating anything, although...”

Big Sister tried to burn through his face with her eyes. “Whatever. Seriously though, a Schnee? Imagine if anyone saw you two! Your name - my name! - would be in tabloid headlines across the country! And Jacques Schnee really doesn’t appreciate men hanging around his girls! Especially men like you!”

“Will you bug off? I said I was drunk and she was too. It was an accident, Rae.” A memory of a crowded bar watching him do something stupid bubbled up. “Besides, I’m pretty sure no one was at a casino bar watching me fool around last night, so your cherished reputation is safe.”

Raven stared at him one more time before palming her face. “You just know exactly how to screw up a delicate situation, don’t you?”

Qrow smirked, inwardly relieved she hadn’t chewed him out as long as the last time he had risked the company name. “I thought that was what you brought me along for.”

“Well, I’m sure I’ll be able to talk to Miss Schnee on your behalf,” Raven sighed. “Don’t hold your breath, though. Working with Schnees can be an exercise in patience.”

“Don’t I know it,” he grumbled, taking big gulps of water. “Anyways, anything else you wanted me to come over for?”

“Ah. Good point,” she said, reaching into her purse and pulling out a booklet. “Needless to say, Vernal and I are going to be swamped with AtlasMedical legal drafting for the next while, so I won’t need you again until the regional conference in the winter.” Raven tapped one of the weeks in her planner. “I need you to make sure you’re clear this week so I can book your flight to New York.”

For the love of - “Jesus, sis, did you forget everything I just told you? I don’t want to keep tagging along with you on these shitty trips with shitty people! And New York?! That’s literally the **one** place worse than this! Why can’t you get someone else to be your ride along?”

Raven waited for his rant to end. “You done? Good, now I’m _offering_ you a chance to come with me to a reputable business conference, something you can use to pad out that empty resume of yours. Or would you rather stay in your little corner of nowhere fixing busted pipes until you’re an old decrepit stick of a man? You can make up your mind later,” she added before he could interrupt, “for now we’re pretty much done in Vegas, so make sure you’re packed up for our flight back home tomorrow morning. Do I need to come fetch you?”

“I’m thirty, not thirteen, old hag,” Qrow mumbled. “I’m perfectly capable of getting out of bed by myself.”

His sister rolled her eyes. “Suit yourself. Now did you actually want to eat anything before - there you are Vernal, we were just talking about...”

Raven trailed off as Vernal approached the table with the pace of a panther, eyes not sparkling with the usual mischief but with total confusion.

And it was aimed squarely at Qrow.

He waved a hand in front of her face, snapped his fingers. “You still in there, Vernie? What’s got you worked up?”

She said nothing, instead laying her e-reader flat on the table. “You have any explanation for this, you colossal jackass?”

“Hey watch it, I might be a jackass but at least I’m not **WHAT THE FUCK**?”

All eyes at the restaurant turned as Qrow leapt up from his seat, spilling his casino chips and grabbing the tablet with shaking hands. This had to be fake. Doctored. Had to be.

“Qrow...” Raven seethed as he frantically refreshed the page over and over just to see if it was some twisted trick, the headline coming back the same every time.

_Shitshitshitshitshit_

“GAMBLING WITH A BEAUTY’S HEART!” read the title under Vegas News Network in big glittering font. There he was, all eyes on him center-stage, captured on one knee with a disarming smile as he slipped the ring on her finger, her face twisted in something between confused and dumbstruck. “Winter’s cold heart thawed by a mystery man! A surprise engagement no one saw coming!”

Qrow’s breath hitched in his throat, feeling inescapably tight as he read on. “What it took to melt the ice! Does Ironwood know? What Jacques thinks!”

The machine clattered to the ground as Raven methodically rose from her seat with all the patience of a lioness stalking a lone herbivore, eyes trained on him and fingers digging into the table.

Vernal reached into her bag and pulled out an excessively large steel baton. He gulped.

Qrow would take being mauled to death over what was about to happen any day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had my first final of the semester, hope the others go a little better...getting back on a writing schedule so you'll see more of me next month >*_*>


	6. Finestra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Being a little more discreet would’ve saved you the worldwide media coverage, I guess."

Walking out of that hotel room should’ve been the easiest thing in her life, like leaving home for college was supposed to be or telling her father to fuck off should’ve been. Winter blamed the thumping in her brain and the foreign weight of metal on her finger throwing her off balance as she stormed down the empty hallway at two in the afternoon.

There were times in her life she’d been nervous, times she’d been angry, but after waking up in a stranger’s bed Winter felt overwhelming shame. A Schnee didn’t get wrapped around someone’s finger after a few drinks. They most certainly didn’t bed them for a night just because they could.

She’d hidden the tear streaks as best she could, walking out of the building and face-to-face with that damnable casino that caused her so much trouble. Even now the cartoonish skull seemed to be staring at her, large wooden teeth trying to smirk attractively.

 _Nope_. She didn’t think her first one-night stand would ruin a whole facial expression for her. Blocking the impish caricature from her eyes, Winter checked her phone, dreading the hundreds of texts and dozens of phone calls Joanna had certainly sent her...

Nothing. There was nothing, no texts, zero missed calls, not a single missing persons notice from the police. Forget Winter, did someone kidnap Jo? She’d better call Admiral Ironwood this instant, check the Vegas police site for any -

Breathe. Deep breaths. She’d find her answers once she got back to her hotel room and curled up alone in her bed. Giving the Grand Grimm the bird, Winter stalked off and as mentally far away from that place as she could.

Fifteen minutes later she swiped her keycard and unlatched the door, stepping inside and leaning heavily against it as she moaned aloud. Free at last.

“Hey Win.”

“FINESTRA oh goodness it’s just you Joanna,” Winter mumbled, only slightly totally embarrassed at being caught acting unladylike.

Her hotel roommate smirked from the desk, laden with papers that were likely written by stacking more papers on top of them. “Casting Harry Potter spells won’t save you from me. Or these hours of homework we’ve got left to do. Did you at least enjoy your night out?”

“My god, Jo, look I’m sorry I went off without you last night, I don’t - I don’t even know what came over me,” Winter apologized.

“Relax Winter, it’s cool.” Her eyes sparkled with the telltale sign of mischief. “Was he at least any good in bed?”

The entire floor probably heard her shriek and Joanna instantly walked over. “Hey hey! Are you okay Win? Did he do anything bad to you? Should I call the cops? I should call the cops right -”

Winter clasped her hand before she could do anything rash. “Jo stop, it’s - nothing happened. At least I don’t think. I don’t think he did anything criminal to me.”

“What do you mean, you _think_ , or you _know_?”

“I - I just - neither of us could remember what happened last night, and I woke up in my underwear and he was in his and we woke up in bedtogetherandwestartedarguingand I was so MAD and I just -”

Joanna was probably the only person in the world other than Klein and her mother who had ever seen Winter break down. She soaked Jo’s pajamas with her tears as they sat on the edge of the bed, Winter sobbing and Joanna sitting there with arms wrapped around her friend. They stayed like that for about ten minutes, just letting Winter get it off her chest so she could look invincible for the world again.

“Feeling better?” she asked as the sniffling slowed down.

Winter nodded and hugged her best friend tighter. “I don’t know how I found a friend like you, Jo,” she whispered, “but someday I’ll find a way to thank you enough.” Wiping her eyes she sighed, feeling lighter without that overwhelming guilt on her shoulders.

“Don’t mention it,” Joanna said happily. “So to be clear, you **don’t** wanna press charges against that Branwen guy, right?”

Winter folded her hands in her lap and stared at them. “If I’m being honest, I’m mostly angry at myself for how I behaved last night and today. I _chose_ to go crazy on the roulette table. I chose to accept his challenge and follow him around the casino. I asked him to take me back to his room when I got drunk. I was angry he offered me his ring as if it meant something so I took it. I got mad because...because I was ashamed of myself.”

Joanna put a hand on Winter’s, then turned it over so she could gaze at the jewelry she was now wearing. “So what you’re saying is, that Qrow guy was alright, you were just mad that you finally caved to having one more night of fun in your life than you were allowed.”

Jo watched Winter’s face quickly turn red. “I mean - he’s a scoundrel and a deviant, but he makes good conversation...”

“And..?”

“...and he knows his way around cheesy one-liners...”

“Definitely a catch in your book. What else..?”

“...I’ve never wanted to stare at washboard abs so hard...” she mumbled under her breath.

“Eeek!” Joanna cheered. “You’re in love! Winter Schnee has finally met her match! Good thing too, considering how much this has blown up in the past sixteen hours,” she added offhandedly.

Trademark Schnee fury was back in full force. “I never said that! I said he was an intriguing rascal who was moderately intellectually and physically attractive but who ultimately fails to provoke any deeper emotion from me than anger!” Winter paused. “What was that last part again?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Jo assured her. “Why don’t we get back to finishing up our doctoral assignments? You only have five hours till dinner with Ironwood.”

Winter slapped her forehead. “The dinner! How did I forget about that!”

“Not like anything significant has happened recently,” Joanna agreed sarcastically. “Wanna get back to thesis work so you aren’t regretting every moment spent enjoying life like you normally do?”

“Yeah, let’s.” Winter stepped over to her side of the desk and logged on to her laptop -

Which promptly slammed shut as Joanna smiled very innocently at her. “How about we um stick off the interwebs for the time being? There’s a lot of bookwork left for both of us, maybe you could err mark citations for web research later! Yeah. That.”

All her warning signs were going off right now. “What weird thing are you hiding this time, Joanna?”

“Nothing! Nothing at all whatever gave you that impression.” With a swipe the laptop disappeared and landed on Joanna’s bed on top of a half-packed suitcase. “Let’s focus on the old school, books rule approach for a change! That’ll keep us on our toes for when the Internet inevitably revolts and forces all humanity into hiding.”

Winter rolled her eyes but grinned nonetheless, already unpacking her four-color highlighter and turning pages across three books at once.

After all, what could be the worst thing Joanna would be hiding?

* * *

Admiral Ironwood was already seated ten minutes before the established time, smiling at her from his table inside the luxury restaurant. No one could argue that he cut an impressive figure - black tuxedo jacket that shone in the Vegas night and jet-black hair in a neatly trimmed crew cut, a faint scar across his right temple, a dorito frame of muscle that would make men half his age jealous. It was good to have familiar faces in a foreign place, and the Admiral was one of her closest friends if not family.

“Winter. Looking as beautiful as ever,” he greeted, standing to pull out her chair and admiring her less revealing sky-blue dress she’d chosen for the evening. 

She beamed back honestly. “It wouldn’t do nicely to make a poor impression in front of my superior,” she reasoned as she took her seat.

“Winter please, how many times do I have to tell you? At work I’m your boss, and outside of that I’m still your dear old Uncle Ironsides!”

She groaned as he laughed out loud. “How long until you let me live that one down?It was a childhood nickname I used for ten weeks!”

“I’ll use it as long as you keep being both adorable and terrifying. So probably forever,” he chuckled as he waved over a waiter. “Would you like anything nice to drink tonight?”

 _Woah, menage a doo my ass that hurt_. “Nope!” she squeaked. “No thank you. Just because I’m twenty-one now doesn’t mean I should go all out with the alcohol. A-heh heh.”

“Oh.” Ironwood blinked. “Alright then, I suppose the lady will just have a virgin shirley temple and - WINTER are you alright?!”

She held up a hand as her coughing subsided. “F-fine, Admiral Ironwood, really I’m ok. Kind of - **ahem** \- let something go down my throat. Poor timing is all.” _If I ever see that man again I’ll make sure he drowns in an ocean of whiskey_.

When she recovered the waiter left and James set his menu down. “Soo...”

Winter shook herself of machinations about murdering a boyish black bird. “Beg your pardon?”

He sighed good-naturedly. “How have you been doing, Winter? Have you been sleeping enough? Eating right? Is being around Miss Juniper causing more white hairs than usual? I shouldn’t have assumed you would bunk together just because -”

Winter cut him off before he could keep going and embarrass her further. “Admiral - James, please, I’m fine! Seriously, everything’s going great, and Joanna is a **lot** but nothing I haven’t managed before. We even managed to sit still and work on our theses for about three hours today,” she said proudly.

“Well then, I suppose you’re right,” he conceded, “I may be worrying a bit more than is necessary. Sometimes I forget that you’re still the youngest ever intern at AtlasMedical, on top of soon-to-be youngest recipient of an MBA at your university. I’d say I were amazed if this were anything out of character for you, my dear.”

“Self-destructive work addictive tendencies? No one mentioned that.” She fluttered her eyelashes innocently before sighing into her hands. “If it means anything, I’ve been doing better,” she mumbled.

“Young lady, poor posture and talking under your breath are most unbecoming of a woman of your class!” Ironwood admonished. “You should be ashamed of yourself for dragging your good name through the mud!”

Winter did a double take, locking eyes with the Admiral for three seconds before both burst out laughing. “That is what your mother would say if she were here. Hah, you should’ve seen your face Win, you looked like I’d turned into a two-headed serpent for a second!”

“Oh my god, please never do that again,” she snorted still giggling. “I can barely handle having one and a half parents, I definitely don’t need a second!”

The dinner continued like this for some time, both catching up over roquefort filet mignon and pan-seared lemon zest chicken. Winter always cherished her time with her uncle. Despite having clearly earned his place at the very top of society, Ironwood had confided in Winter that he never felt truly at ease wearing the finest clothes among the haughtiest company, drinking champagne and talking about how much better things were if they stayed that way forever.

Ironwood’s favorite place was among the dedicated, being around people who truly cared for what they were doing and the purpose they served. It’s what drove him to spend so many years of his life in the Navy serving his country, and eventually what pushed him to found a company that sought to make a difference in the world of medical technology. It’s why he was such a role model to her, someone who had made a name for themselves and worked tirelessly to improve, both personally and professionally. Not balanced like her father and _certainly_ not like that bastard cretin of a -

“Is this really what you want for yourself?” he asked as plates of crystalline crême brulée arrived at their table.

Fuck, why was she still thinking of that asshole? She wrung her hands and the beautiful ring absentmindedly. “Excuse me - Admiral Ironwood, I’m not sure I follow you..?”

“Sorry, let me explain.” He pushed aside the dessert and folded his arms on the table. “You’ve just turned twenty-one, and to celebrate you sent your mother a two paragraph text before coming to the office at ten in the evening. You’re about to graduate from schooling, only to immediately take a high-ranking position in my company with only a pause for the ceremony. Aren’t you a...tiny bit worried about burnout, Winter?”

 _Not this again_. “Look, Uncle James, I really appreciate how much you worry for me. It’s more than my own parents will do and that’s probably something I should be more torn up about. I assure you, working is like food and water to me and - okay that came out wrong,” she admitted when his eyes narrowed, “the point is there’s nothing I need other than a career I can pour myself into and help the world by doing.”

“I didn’t ask what you _needed_ , Winter, I asked if this is what you wanted. If there is anything else in the world you want than world-class success and a golden plaque saying you made it. You can think about that later,” he interrupted before she made to reply. “Win, I admit that while not as callous as your father, I’m not a perfect role model. I had to make many sacrifices along the way, a chance for happiness, love, family...I wasn’t strong enough to even try and balance all these things. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did on this path.”

“But that choice made you into the legend you are today!” Winter exclaimed. “You’ve redefined the consumer market for biomedical tech, led a revolution in the field of cybernetics, and that’s all before you turned fifty! There’s no price to success like that!”

“There’s always a price, Miss Schnee. Never forget that. Besides, I’ve come to realize that I’m not getting any younger, and maybe I could make time for someone if I wanted -” he clamped a hand over his mouth before he could give away any more, but the damage had been done.

“Make time for someone? James, are you - no, no way!” To Ironwood she probably looked a lot like Joanna at this moment, giddy in her chair at the prospect of matchmaking. “You have to tell me! Come on, please!”

“Absolutely not.” He looked positively mortified at letting it slip.

“Pretty please, Uncle Ironsides? It can’t be someone from work - your moral code is pretty strict - it’s likely someone we met here. Who did we meet? Someone at the oh my god is it Raven? Maybe it’s that Vernal I didn’t get to ah?”

The Admiral had caught one of her flailing arms, slowly placing it palm-down on the table. “Since we’re on this topic, I thought now is a good time to ask you about this.”

“What?”

“This.” He gestured to the sparkling crystal on her finger. “I uh, wanted to ask you in person - is he good to you?”

Winter’s face dropped faster than gravity could account for. “What.”

“Is he - I don’t want to know how it happened, I just wanted your assurance - is he good to you? Does he treat you well? I know he isn’t the best at first impressions, so maybe I’ve misjudged him and I’m willing to -”

“Admiral - hold, hold on, you’ve completely lost me. What are you talking about?”

“This...Qrow character. I want to know that you’ve thought this through, and that he’s really the one who’ll make you happy.”

“Admiral Iron - Ja - wh - I have zero association with that roguish, _aggravating_ man and I have **no** idea where this is coming from.”

Her dear uncle sighed once more, sounding much older as he pulled out his phone, opening a page before sliding it over to her. “There’s no need to play coy, Winter. I just want what’s best for you and...”

She couldn’t hear the rest of what he was saying, as if the entire world was underwater while her entire universe fell apart faster than her parents’ love life. A pop news article was plastered in photos she didn’t remember posing for, an unfamiliar black-haired black suited gentleman on one knee and some white-haired white dressed dame sitting at a barstool accepting a ring as the room went wild. Pictures of him carrying his bride-to-be away from the crowd, surely for an evening of saucy romance. Close-ups of drunk, giggling faces and the girl giving him googly eyes.

Fuck. Everything. Especially him. Maybe Joanna too for hiding this from her.

She tried to talk, but her tongue hung uselessly in her mouth as her brain tried to piece together coherent language. “I suppose hindsight is twenty-twenty. Being a little more discreet would’ve saved you the worldwide media coverage, I guess.” He smiled half-heartedly. “At least your father doesn’t follow this sort of news, so you have a bit of time before you have to deal with that?”

As if on cue Winter’s phone rattled on the table, nearly jumping off and committing suicide. Shakily her hand snaked out and read the unsaved number calling her.

She hadn’t saved it because she never expected him to bother contacting her when she got the phone two years ago. But she recognized the number like the back of her hand, or her favorite German death pop lyrics from her emo phase.

Waiting was his second least favorite thing to do. One look at Ironwood’s face confirmed refusing this call was definitely a bad idea. She swiped up to answer.

“Father..?”

“Winter. We need to talk.”

If there were a god or two, she prayed they would smite Qrow Branwen with all the force of heaven and leave him a bloodied, bruised, beautiful mess. Then maybe _something_ would go right this week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever written a chapter so long it could be its own one-shot? Do tell me what it's like.  
> I have this fic labelled as 'short' in my outline, and it's at 15k words, not even a third of the way through.  
> But hey, that means more reading for you guys (: as long as you can bear a bit of a wait


	7. Mojo Jojo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I thought I could try bringing both of you together to resolve this personally."

D13, E14...F15. _Wonderful_. Of course they gave him the window seat on the return trip. Perfect for watching the ground strip away and leave you with only your anxiety and definitely not an irrational fear of flying.

Qrow tossed his suitcase overhead and mumbled apologies as he squeezed past the mom and her kid brat, falling into his seat with a hiss at the worn leather. He was almost tempted to remember the name of this airline just to avoid it next time, but Raven was probably already booking his next flight on this exact same plane.

Slouching over in his seat, he glanced at the black-haired girl who sat next to him, a little black bow on her head and a full-length novel in her lap. Instead of reading though, she was staring right at him.

“Somethin’ wrong kid?” he asked after a few seconds. “Any reason yer lookin at me like I’m some child predator or something?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “Even if you were one, there’d be nowhere for you to run if daddy caught you,” she reasoned in a voice too cute to be so nonchalant. “Where’d you get so many band-aids?”

“Huh?”

She rolled them even harder. “Your band-aids. Why do you have so many? There are almost ten on your face alone. They’re a weird color too.”

Qrow touched his face instinctively, mentally cursing himself for using the edgy black ones instead of the skin-tone kind. “I guess you could call it a job hazard. Comes with the territory.”

“Are you a spy or something?”

He rubbed his eyelids, already feeling more haggard than under a vodka hangover. “Even worse - I’m a younger sibling. You wouldn’t get it,” he sighed when she raised an eyebrow.

Seriously, if those two lawyers gave such capable beatings, wasn’t hiring a bodyguard redundant? It’d be more accurate if Raven called him their corporate punching bag. At least then it would feel a little less humiliating.

The girl wasn’t done pestering him. “Hold on mister, aren’t you that guy in the magazines mommy was reading? The one who got caught up in a proposal mess with the most tumultuous -”

“Alright, that’s enough sweetie!” the mom cut in, pulling lightly on the kid’s ear. “Why don’t you leave the poor man alone? After all, usually you’re halfway done with your books before takeoff! Sorry, she’s just so gosh-darned curious sometimes,” she whispered to Qrow.

He shrugged halfheartedly. “They did say curiosity killed the cat. Don’t worry, they don’t call me curiosity so she’s safe for now,” he muttered back.

“I can still hear you guys,” the girl said under them.

Mom giggled nervously. “Of course, dearest. Do you want a snack? I’ve still got those fish crackers we bought!”

Qrow leaned back in his seat, glad to have escaped the conversation for now. It would be about two hours to Florida, and though she was almost as annoying as some _other_ young lady he’d met here in Vegas, sitting next to this one was bearable. Long as she was reading and not just looking at him.

“Kali? Where are you Kali!” someone hollered from the front of the plane, and the mom waved back. A seven foot-tall behemoth lumbered over to their aisle, eyes like a panther and covered in muscle. “There are my darling girls! How are the econ seats? Sorry I could only get us one business class on the way back.”

“It’s okay sweetheart,” she answered, stealing a cracker from her daughter. “Hey I know, Blake would you like to sit up front for takeoff? You can get the window seat up there and watch Nevada fly away!”

Qrow, who had only been slightly mortified at being on the same plane as daddy, paled visibly at the suggestion. The kid, sensing his fear, glanced back at him before giving him the first smile he’d seen her wear. Well, more of an evil grin, but technically her lips did turn upwards.

“Oh yes please, daddy can I please sit in front? I wanna see the city fly away!” she begged in a strangely normal way for a ten year-old, compared to her bored attitude just a second ago. _Motherfucker don’t you dare do this to m-_

“Splendid, Blakey!” her father bellowed, laughing hard enough to shake the cabin. “You can go ahead now and stay as long as you want.” The little girl hopped off her seat and walked off before Qrow could change her mind, and before he was mentally prepared for the sheer mass coming his way.

Sliding through the aisle in a way much too graceful for a literal giant, the dad sighed as he crashed into the seat almost too small for his ass. He wrapped an arm around his wife while the other was barely an inch from Qrow’s face, which was already squeezed against the window glass.

“Oh, sorry I - didn’t see you there,” he said when Qrow shoved an elbow out of his face. “You look like you’re caught between a rock and a hard place. Though, let me tell you, nothing says trapped like being cornered by a lion and wrestling your way out! Man, that safari last year was one of a kind, wasn’t it.”

Mom leaned in closer. “Ghira dear, when we get back you can wrestle _this_ lion all you want...”

Gods above, he’d take another tag-team beating straight to hell over this.  


* * *

Qrow was still ironing out the kinks in his back as he stood waiting outside the airport, mindlessly playing some mobile game when a familiar silver minivan honked obnoxiously at him.

The driver waved a tattooed hand out of the window. “Qrow! Qrow, you blind old man, over here!”

He sighed as he walked to the trunk, tossing his baggage carelessly and stepping into shotgun. “A whole ten minutes before you said you’d come. You’re almost breaking records at how much of a dad you’ve become in ten years,” he yawned at his friend.

Taiyang grinned back, smoothing out his beach-blond hair and pink T-shirt as they drove home. “Never hurts to set a good example for the kids. Something I should probably worry about when it comes to you actually,” he added. “I mean look at you, you probably took a glass bottle to the face in a bar fight and don’t even remember it! What’s with the black band-aids anyways?”

He really needed to throw them out sooner or later. “Call it an artistic representation of my soul. Black. The dark of the void. Cold, loathing apathy.”

“...Okay, definitely stealing all of your band-aids for an art project with the girls. We don’t want you going back to your college angst phase as a thirty year-old man, do we?”

“ **No!** ” Qrow hissed, holding his face defensively. “It’s a bastion of my brooding character! How’m I supposed ta look intimidating without black band-aids?”

“Suit yourself,” Tai chuckled, “so how was the trip? See anything cool in Vegas? Make a hot killing at the casinos? Swoozing it up with the city chicks?”

Qrow groaned, fishing for his wad of cash he traded all those casino tokens in for. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks to quit pestering me with questions. I’ll give you another hundred if you stop trying to make swoozing a thing.”

“Can’t buy away my earnest interest, old pal. Also, swoozing is totally a thing. At least, it will be when the girls start using it around the house.”

“Ever wonder why you can never find that one polaroid camera you wanna use? Those two she-demons have sided with their dear ol’ Uncle. You’ll never break them, Tai, those babies you made are now mine!” Qrow cackled evilly.

The dad raised an eyebrow. “Wow, the trip went so bad you have to fake a supervillain monologue to try and throw me off track? Brutal.”

Qrow dropped his face onto the dashboard. “Technically I did make a little money...”

His friend patted his shoulder, never taking his eyes off the road. “Well good for you. Glad to see our resident deadbeat godfather is taking baby steps to put his entire life together.”

There was a pause in the conversation as Tai turned on a radio station for punk metal he never got to listen to with the kids around, and when he spoke again there was a different tone in his voice. “How is she?”

Qrow had never figured it out, but somehow every time he met up with his sister Tai knew about it. It came to the point where he might have suspected their phones to be bugged, but Taiyang was too sincere to try such a thing and Raven too paranoid to let it happen.

“She’s ahh...she’s doin' okay. On a brand new contract with some bigshot tech company. Still refuses ta slow down or let anyone else at her firm do anything without her permission.”

“That’s Rae all right,” his friend murmured. “Never did know how to take a backseat with anything. Always has to make the right play herself or she’ll go crazy. Can’t believe how much of her I see in Yang, it’s honestly really scary and really sweet.”

 _Christ, man, you’re not making this family-juggling any easier for me_. “So how’re the girls?” he coughed.

Tai gave him a look that said _I appreciate the effort_ before taking the bait. “The girls are doing great - if I’m honest, a little too great what with Summer and I enabling them as of late. Fair warning, they’re a little annoyed at you for ignoring their texts from my phone.” He glanced over at his passenger. “You sure you don’t want to come over tonight? Summer’s cooking a mean cheese casserole and the girls wanna see you.”

Qrow smiled a little. “Would love to, Tai, just another time. I need to get back to my place, unpack, decompress, get back t’my studies -”

“You really wanna get hammered right now, don’t you?”

“Am I that obvious?”

Tai snorted as he switched radio stations. “If you don’t need a liver transplant in the next ten years I’m convinced you’re a mutant freak. And no, I’m NOT giving you my liver.”

“Figures. Here I was thinking ya had my back, only to find myself on the floor with a broken spine. Well technically a rottin' liver I guess.” He put a hand over his heart melodramatically and Tai shoved him jokingly.

The rest of the trip to Patch was filled with idle conversation, how Tai’s contract work was going a little dry this season which gave him more time with the kids, then about how little homework Yang got done if they weren’t dangling the promise of kung fu movies, to the time Summer madly brushed Ruby’s teeth in the car on the way to a dentist appointment while Ruby still snuck a chocolate in her mouth. Qrow always felt a weird pang in his heart whenever they talked about the family, but this time he chalked it up to an ache where that Ghira dude had flattened his sternum accidentally.

Tai finished telling him about how bad Ninja Fighten was for the girls as they pulled up to Qrow’s hou- hole in the forest, complete with a soggy roof and poorly-painted walls, windows a translucent green from rampant moss. Qrow’s place was a mere twenty minute drive from the Rose Xiao-Long house, but the difference in living conditions was night and day. One of them was willing to put up with potential biohazards for the sake of laziness.

“Here we are,” Tai sighed as he parked the car in front of Qrow’s rusting truck, cracked headlights sneering at the pristine family van as if egging on a car deathmatch. “Sure you don’t need me to come by and give this place a fixer-up? What if you have company over?”

Qrow snorted. “Believe me, the day I have someone come over is the day I swear off booze. Which is to say by the time I’m dead an gone.” He made to leave but Taiyang grabbed his shoulder before he could. “Goin ta lecture me about death metaphors again?”

“No, not that,” Tai muttered, clearly uneasy, “isn’t there...something you want to talk to me about?”

“I mean, apart from how little I enjoy flying and how much I love showin' Ruby the fatalities in that game, not really. Why?”

“You positive?”

“Yes, Tai, do you wanna hear more about Raven or something? You can just ask. Though I probably won’t answer.”

“No, not Raven, Qrow, come on, you can talk to me about this, you can trust me.”

Was he having a drunk daydream? “I swear to god, Tai, I have no fuckin’ clue what you’re trying to tell me but if I did something to you when I was drunk we both said I’m not accountable for-”

“Your **proposal**!” Tai yelled, frustrated that Qrow was obviously trying to beat around the bush with this. “Yes, Qrow, I saw the news, everyone knows about it, come on, tell me about her. Has this been going on awhile? Have you thought this through? Cause lemme tell you, me getting hitched to Summer happened way too fast for me to process anything and it made for a mean adjustment period, and I don’t wanna see you make the same mis-”

“I’ll stop ya right there, Tai,” Qrow cut him off, “cuz whatever shitty article you read clearly took about a hundred leaps in their imagination and might as well consult fairies or unicorns about this, because they sure as shit didn’t bother asking anyone involved what was actually happening. Me an’ Winter Schnee, we ain’t engaged, hell, we don’t even _like_ each other, much less wanna get married.”

“Alright, you might say that, but what’s with all the pictures of you down on one knee and carrying her out of a bar all heart-eyed like that? Those didn’t look photoshopped to me.”

Ugh, he’d jump back into the plane seat next to **two** Ghiras if he could avoid this conversation. “It’s complicated, okay? Look, you worry about your wife and kids, I’ll worry about paparazzi showin up at my door so I can gladly tell em to fuck off.”

“Qrow, wait!” Tai said as Qrow stepped out and yanked the trunk open to get his bag. “C’mon, this really isn’t something you can just ignore! It’s the Schnee family, for goodness sake, you can’t deal with all that on your own!”

Slouching over childishly, he flipped off his friend as he keyed in. “Watch me,” he shouted at Tai’s car before slamming the door shut.

Home. Home sweet home, free at last of the outside world and finally getting some goddamn peace and quiet. Qrow leaned against the door, breathing in the soapy smell from that stain on the carpet, the grassy odor from the vines growing into his wall. It was good to be back.

He sighed deeply, picking up his bag and taking two steps up his stairs before tripping and crashing down to the floor, breaking his open closet door for the third time and knocking over a cheap vase that shattered on his skull.

Yep. Good to be home.

After an hour spent cleaning up another mess, Qrow was lounging on his patchwork couch, surfing YouTube for clips of people falling over to make himself feel better, a half-empty bottle of whiskey in his hand and a buzz helping to dampen his sour mood. Normally he wouldn’t laugh at a seven year-old falling facefirst into a pool, but he giggled uncontrollably at her reaction.

Fuck Tai. Fuck Raven. Fuck everything. ‘Specially her.

His phone rang a chipper jingle and he groaned, looking for it in his pocket, then behind the pillow, then under the laptop, finally finding it under the couch. God, he just couldn’t be left to brood alone, could he?

“Tai, I swear on my dead dad’s ashes you’d better leave me alone, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore!”

“Talk about what?” the voice on the other end said.

Qrow blinked. He hadn’t thought to check the caller ID. “Ah...sorry about that. Who’s calling?”

“Oh, uh, sorry to bother you Mr. Branwen -”

“Is this one of those - _hic!_ \- those paparazzos here to hound me for my life story and all? Cuz if it is I’m ganna make you wish you chose a better job than stalking people for all the saucy details of their life.”

“No! No, Mr. Branwen, I’m not a reporter, I’m...I’m a friend of Winter’s. We actually met a few nights ago? Brown ponytail, nice dress, working for Atlas..?”

Hazy details of that fateful night flitted through his mind. “Oh yea, there was another girl, what was it, Joey, Joanne, Mojo Jojo...”

She chuckled nervously. “It’s Joanna.”

“Joanna! Right.” He chugged another mouthful of whiskey. “Hey hold on a second! How in high hell did - _gulp_ \- did ya get this number anyways!”

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” she pleaded into the receiver. “I got in touch with your sister and she agreed to give me your number on the condition that I help resolve this matter quietly.”

“Raven gave you my number so you could call me about my fake proposal.” Man, big sis never let him forget how cruel she could be if he ever fucked up.

“Pretty much.” He could sense her shrug from over the phone. “I just wanted to see if there was any way to reconcile you and Winter. I understand you guys left on...less-than amicable terms yesterday.”

“Don’t I know it,” Qrow grumbled as he sat back down on the couch. “To be honest, I didn’t expect anything less of the Ice Queen herself. I said one harmless thing and suddenly she’s - _urp_ \- attacking me like I’m some lecherous creep or something. Frankly came out of nowhere.”

“Maybe I was attacking you because you _were_ being a lecherous creep, you disgusting oaf!” a different voice yelled from the phone. 

It was a familiar voice. “Ice Queen? What’re you doing listen- _hic!_ \- listening to this private conversation? Who taught you all those fancy manners for nothing?”

“You’re on speaker,” Joanna admitted sheepishly. “And er, I thought I could try bringing both of you together to resolve this personally.”

Needless to say this wasn’t going to go according to plan.

“I have nothing to say to that gregarious moron,” Winter scoffed. “Thanks to him I was berated by my father for the first time in years, humiliated all because of this dunce’s penchant for making a scene!”

“And I’ve got nothing to say to that snotty icicle witch with a penchant for violence,” Qrow huffed, throwing his chin to the side even though he was alone in his house. “Not until she gives back what she took from me.”

Winter growled. “I didn’t take anything, you literally put it on my finger! There’s a hundred photos online now that prove it!”

“Semantics, shemanticks, Ice Queen.”

“Don’t you _semantics_ me, I bet you don’t even know what that means!”

“Shaddup, you stupid skinny excuse for a Disney princess!”

“Vulgar cretin!”

“Punch-happy tramp!”

“Bastard!”

“Bitch!”

“ENOUGH!” yelled Joanna, sick of being being caught between the bickering couple’s shouting match. “Both of you are **very** busy people, and you definitely shouldn’t be wasting time coming up with less and less creative insults to throw at each other! Understood?” Qrow and Winter mumbled yes. “Good. Now Winter, I believe you had something to tell Mr. Branwen, didn’t you?”

When Winter spoke again she had regained her Schnee composure, and Qrow could almost picture her talking into the phone with a straight back and arms tucked behind her back. “Look, despite our differences, I grudgingly admit that the only way to solve this PR disaster is to work together. Tomorrow I will call my publicity agent and we will draft a statement for myself and you. We will explain that everything photographed was part of an elaborate advertising stunt to push a new line of Schnee Suits and Garments, and that you were simply hired as a model of the upcoming collection. Are we clear, Branwen?”

Ugh, he’d just gotten away from his sister’s scheming only to be caught in Schnee’s elaborate headache-inducing plans. The universe never did let up. “Fine by me. The less I have to deal with nosy reporters the better.” He tipped the bottle upside down, looking for the last drops. “A shame Schnees can’t handle it when things get too hot,” he muttered away from the receiver.

He felt her breath catch more than he heard it. “What did you say, Branwen?” she bit out.

“Oh, nothing. Just disappointing that the Schnee heiress backs out so easily. Here I thought you lot were known for your stubbornness and following through but guess I was wrong.”

He didn’t know why he was egging her on, really, but he did know that an angry Winter who couldn’t reach him was a _furious_ one.

“You know what? You’re right,” she decided, her voice carrying enough edge to cut him in half. “Screw publicity statements. How silly of me to think I could just call it off on a whim. No, I believe that this wedding will carry on as planned, so long as my fiancé remains a willing participant. Isn’t that right, Qrow?”

He sneered at the phone. “I’d never make such a decision without my lady’s consent,” he said acidly. “I’ll be here all the way until you realize you’re too chicken to go through with it.”

Winter made a sound between a laugh and a snarl. “We’ll see who the chicken is, old man.”

“Perfect!” said Joanna, clapping her hands giddily. “I’ll send both of you each other’s contact info and -”

The line clicked shut as Winter and Qrow cut the call at the same time.

He sat there for a while, absorbing the magnitude of what he just did. He'd just goaded Winter Schnee into making their accidental engagement a high-stakes bluffing contest to see which of them was stubborn enough to see this lie through to the end. A gambling competition where the audience was the entire entertainment news industry and the cost of losing was total public ridicule at best, and at worst...

Qrow stood up and walked back to his liquor cabinet, tossing the empty bottle over his shoulder and grabbing an identical one. After all, he had a mutually-assured disaster wedding to celebrate tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters getting longer helllppp I'm drowninggg  
> What, did you think even for a second these two would be able to resolve this misunderstanding without a shouting match? If they could we wouldn't be only one-third of the way through this fic hah.  
> Leave a comment if you enjoyed, always great to read what you think~


	8. Or is it Schnee-Branwen now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I have to see my future sister-in-law once in a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Shipperoftrashyships for being a last-minute beta for this chapter! I wasn't super confident about the direction I was taking but she is a blessed soul (and a good writer - if u think u like any cute Yang/Mercury check her out!)

Ten o’clock, at her private cubicle in the office:

“Good morning, Miss Schnee! Or is it Schnee-Branwen now, is that what you’re going for? Say, how are things going with that _handsome_ fiance of yours? Have you been ‘texting’ madly ever since you left Vegas?”

Winter blinked, distracted from writing Atlas product distribution drafts. “I uh, just Schnee is fine, things are simply going, and no, we have not been _texting_ , whatever that insinuates. Is there a reason this is coming up now?”

“Oh no, only that I’m so happy that you’ve found your better half so early in life! Seeing those pictures of the two of you lovebirds truly made my evening!”

Winter’s eye twitched once as her colleague strutted away.

Ten forty-five, fetching another coffee:

“Winter dear, whatever happens do NOT let this beautiful man go! He’s such a catch and just ughh I’m sooo happy but also super jealous and - well no one deserves him more than you, of course, so I can stay happy for your sake!”

Winter’s eye twitched twice as she stalked out of the lounge.

Eleven forty, her mobile phone rang and she snatched it with a huff:

“This is Winter Schnee.”

“Oh perfect! Knew I could rely on inside sources. Hi Winter, this is Lisa Lavender with the Vegas News Network, I’m calling for a few questions about what you think married life will look like with-”

Winter almost broke the screen when she hung up.

Ten minutes later:

“Winter, is it true that your soon-to-be husband is already dating someone? He was pictured having lunch with two beautiful women who proceeded to beat him up the day after he proposed to you, so rumor has it he’s actually a two-timing scoundrel who’s only in this for the -”

“Win!” Joanna popped in and grabbed her by the wrist. “Finally found you - hey, can you help me with this SWOT analysis for the latest project Ironwood dropped on us? Yes great come on sorry for cutting in bye!”

Joanna didn’t let go until they reached an empty office and closed the door behind them. “Phew, that was a close one. Almost let you get pulled into the rumor mill without me, hah.” She quirked an eyebrow at her friend, who had dropped into the one chair in the room. “Hey, you alright? If it matters I don’t think he’s in this for the money at least...”

Winter growled. “I don’t give a shit what he’s in this for. Qrow can see as many women as he likes just so this charade can be over and done with. I won’t survive another day with this much gossip surrounding me! How did my mother manage to survive such an ordeal?”

“Yeah, it’s a shame Ironwood can’t give an office to interns or you’d have your own whole wing of the department. Seriously though, I _did_ need some help with something if you’re up for it.”

“Yes - yes I can help.” Winter shook off her momentary frustration. “What did you want to work on?”

Joanna opened her laptop, which was on a blank text document. “This...is everything we have for our presentation at the winter conference. Which is in a month. Thought it would be nice to know what we’re talking about in front of three thousand people.”

“Huh, I forgot about that. I was thinking we could talk about the future of marketable prosthetics technology, since I’m also doing my thesis on that. Would you mind doing some research while I make an outline?”

“That sounds good Win!” Joanna opened up her browser.

There were ten tabs of tabloid articles about the newest celebrity couple to hit the scene. Winter gave her a withering look. “Oops, ah, gotta remember to close those next time,” Joanna giggled nervously.

They spent an hour drafting the presentation, Winter using their university library to access engineering dissertations and Joanna sifting through AtlasMedical internal docs on market expansion. Before long they had a full plan of what they would talk about.

“Alright, and that’s a wrap! Seems a little on the short end, but like our corporate management and leadership professor said, quality over quantity! I mean, she _was_ talking about the pass rates for the class, so it might not be a perfect parallel...”

“I like it,” Winter agreed. “We should finish about two weeks before we leave for the conference so I have time to practice. I should get back to my cubicle, Jo, or I’ll never finish that analysis Ironwood wanted done.”

“You’d go back out into that swarm of sharks? It’s suicide, Win don’t go!”

“Save your dramatics for the ‘wedding of the century,’ as that drivel you were reading put it,” Winter said with a roll of her eyes as she stepped out.

Oh, Qrow would pay for the hell he was putting her through. Then again, with him living so far away, it was unlikely either of them would see each other for quite some time, if at all by the time they were supposed to be married. If she _really_ wanted to, Winter could send him a strongly worded text now that she had his number, detailing exactly why he was such a scoundrel and that he put himself in this mess and that he might as well concede to her and call off the whole thing before the fire got too hot for him to handle -

No, she wouldn’t be the one to stoop down and reach out to him. Qrow would soon be caught in the crosshairs of the myriads of reporters that crossed her path daily and practically beg her to “break up” with him. She would spend nine months gloating at him just to rub it in when he finally admitted he couldn’t handle the sheer invasion of privacy like she could. And if she was feeling generous, maybe she’d give him his ring back.

She eyed the metal on her finger, tracing the red crystal she hadn’t found the occasion to remove. It was nice. Much nicer than any qualities she saw in Qrow. What was he doing with such an intricate piece of jewelry anyways? Maybe he stole it, or won it in an underground gambling ring, or it was passed down from a distant affluent relative who wanted him to have something of value in his miserable life.

Other than his remarkable physique, and his elegant drawl when he wasn’t blackout drunk, or the way his red eyes sparkled with mischief when he -

Winter’s desk phone rang her out of her accidental musings and she growled. Doubtless that pesky reporter looking for more dirt on her and her man who wasn’t really hers but rrgh! How did she even find her phone number?!

She swiped it up to answer and give her a piece of her mind. “Listen, you! I don’t know who gave you my number but you’d do well to delete it right this moment! I have half a mind to report you to our legal team!”

“Probably wouldn’t be an issue for me,” said the unfamiliar voice on the other end. “After all, I _am_ your legal team.”

Huh? “Who- who is this? Who’s calling?”

There was a light chuckle. “Guess I haven’t had the occasion to introduce myself yet. The name’s Vernal, I’m with Raven. We’re in town and booked lunch for you. Come to the Daichi Sushi Bar in half an hour. See you then.”

The line clicked shut before Winter could say anything in response. Or tell her she didn’t even like sushi.

* * *

Spotting the two of them was pretty easy - she had technically met both of them in Vegas, and what’s more everyone gave them a one-table berth with anyone who tried to break sent scurrying back by heat vision. Winter hesitantly approached and, when gestured by Raven, took a seat facing the both of them.

“So, the ice princess makes an appearance,” Vernal drawled over a half-eaten plate of shrimp. “Nice little city you have here. Would be a shame if a crack legal team sued the government and won the rights to the mayor’s seat, wouldn’t it?”

Winter blinked. Today wasn’t turning out to be any normal day at the office. “Is...that supposed to be a lawyer joke, or was it a very elaborate greeting and/or threat?”

Raven rolled her eyes and sipped a cup of wine. “Ignore her. She’s just hitting on you, don’t take it the wrong way. How are you doing?”

“Ah, uh, good, things are...going, why are you here, actually?”

Raven sat up and threw her hair back, pushing a bowl of rice towards Winter. “What do you mean? Can’t a legal team find a chance to visit the headquarters of their client, meet with one of the stars of said corporation? Besides,” she added with a glint of mischief, “I have to see my future sister-in-law once in a while.”

Winter groaned. “So that’s what this is about, then? You came all the way from Nevada just to ask about the health of our sham marriage?”

“When you put it that way it sounds petty. Still wearing the ring, I see. Looks good on you, better than I expected. Unfortunately, he asked that I ask you to give it back in good faith.”

Winter hid her hand under the table. “Well, you can tell your _asshole_ of a brother that he might as well call the whole thing off himself and spare us both the trouble. This whole mess is one hundred percent his fault. Also, thank you for beating him up for me.”

“Was my pleasure,” Vernal replied. “Still, I’m pretty sure it takes two to tango, and there is photographic proof that you said yes. To his drunk proposal. While you were drunk wow maybe alcohol should be the one officiating this wedding? Sure seems like the glue holding these two together.”

“Never make that comparison again,” Raven muttered. “Actually, we are here for more than just to annoy you.” A giant muscular chef came by and handed them a long platter of sushi which she pushed towards Winter. “Tell me, are you attending the New York conference in December?”

Winter wrinkled her nose and nudged the plate away. “Of course. In fact I’m giving a short presentation at the request of Admiral Ironwood. Don’t tell me you’ll be there.”

“Count on it,” Vernal winked at her. “After all, put free food and New York together and you’ve got Christmas coming early. Plus I won’t even have to do anythi- ow!”

“Don’t advertise that!” Raven hissed. “Could you be **any** thirstier towards my brother’s bride?”

“Please don’t call me that.” This was almost worse than getting wedding advice from her colleagues.

“How is James doing?” Raven asked offhandedly.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, just - inquiring after the health of my esteemed client.” She took a long drag of her sake and raised an eyebrow at Winter. “Would he...happen to like takeout?”

Winter’s eyes narrowed and she slowly reached over for a bite of rice, chewing slowly. “I don’t know. Depends on what your intentions are towards him.”

“And if I intend to get to know him better..?”

“Then you will have to go through me.”

Raven set her chopsticks down and Winter did the same. The electricity in the room was palpable and their gazes held.

“I suppose a deal is in order then,” Raven conceded. “You give me what I need to know about James, and I can help extricate you out of this mess with my brother you’re in.”

“I will do no such thing.” Winter retorted. “I won’t betray Admiral Ironwood’s trust so you can have your way with him!”

“Oh please, you make it sound like I’m corrupting him. I just want what’s best for my handsome client and his - hey!”

Vernal giggled. “Now who’s being thirsty? Look kid, we’re in town for another week or so, and we’ll pop in and out of the building to work with Ironwood on some legal stuff. That said, if you wanna talk about anything, work, food, either annoying Branwen twin, give us a call, m’kay?” She handed Winter a card with two numbers and they stood up. “It was good to finally meet you, _Ice Queen_. If you do ever get bored with handsome, hit me up, babe.”

Raven paused at the door and turned around. “Just so you know...I am not my brother. I won’t stand idly by and let the world give me what it will. I shall take what is rightfully mine, and you can stand aside or get in my way. The choice is yours, princess. Give my regards to your boyfriend.”

Winter was left alone with a table full of half-eaten seafood and a bill for fifty bucks.

That was going to be her sister-in-law...

She needed to sink this fake marriage as soon as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy I got back to this one after a while! I spent a little while reworking the meat of this story, mainly so I could add the teensiest amount of angst heh. Going back to school in a little bit so chapters will stay infrequent, but glad I've still got readers here! You guys rock and stay cool B)


	9. ON HIATUS

Hey everyone, sorry that I haven't come through with anything in a while! This is honestly a little late aheheh...

I wanted to make this announcement earlier, but I've been forced to go on hiatus for most of this semester. Between my job, family, and third-year engineering classes I've had to evaluate how effectively I use my time. In short, to stay afloat I need to cut everything fun from my life for the next few months - from video games to time with bae to writing...writing that I've grown to love in the short time I've been a part of this community. 

What'll hurt just as much is being unable to read the fantastic things everyone else will be posting in my time away, but at the same time I look forward to spending my entire winter break swimming in fanfics and having fun with people I love - both in my personal life, and over the many fandom discords I've been welcomed into. Rest assured that I'll keep writing chapter drafts in my time off from the site, so _hopefully_ (fingers crossed) you guys can expect not only more consistent chapters come 2k19 but **better** chapters. The creative writing class I'm taking should give me some insights on that too.

I got involved with both the general fanfic community and the RWBY fandom pretty late, but reading and interacting and just _being_ a part of this crazy group of talented and caring people warms my heart and gives me a little strength every day.

Expect to see more of my writing in late December. Thank you for your time, be safe and stay awesome \m/

SSAQ


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